Role Swap!

 

Imagine:  A 27-year old man acting like a 12-year old boy.  And a 12-year old boy acting like a 27-year old man.  That is exactly what happened last Thursday.

I have been attempting to drill the Golden Rule into the 12-year old's brain.  I eventually thought that the best way to do this would be to swap roles.  I warned him a few days in advance so he wasn't surprised.  He knew what day we would be swapping roles, but not what time of day.  So last Thursday, around noon, I made the boys some lunch.  When the 12-year was finished eating, I handed him a list:

Ask me what I want for lunch

Make me lunch

Clean up dog pee in kitchen (Don't worry!  It's just water!)

Make sure I turn off my Kindle

Make sure I eat everything

Put my plate in the dishwasher, then we're done!

I didn't plan it this way, but the 12-year old insisted I call him Philip.  He called me by his name, which will be 'J' for this post.  

First thing on the list.  Ask me what I want for lunch.  I just sat on the couch, playing Subway Surf on my Kindle, unresponsive.  He asked me a couple more times before I finally told him I wasn't hungry.

"You have to eat something!" he said.

"Ugh, fine!  Just make me a PB and J."  I made sure to roll my eyes and everything.

He made me a sandwich, and brought it out to me.  

"Turn off the Kindle."  No response from me.

He asked again.  Still no response from me.  The third time he asked, I just said "Wait!"  (He knows how much I hate that word.)  But he waited until my game character died.  I put the Kindle on the side table and took the sandwich from his hands.

"I'm not hungry." I said.

"You need to eat." he said.  I took a bite out of the sandwich.  (He needs some practice making PB and Js.  Way too much PB, not nearly enough J.)

I eat half the sandwich.  "I'm done."

"Finish the sandwich, please."

I eventually finished the sandwich.  He takes my plate and puts it in the dishwasher.  We finished the roll swap.

Throughout this exchange, J also cleans up the 'dog pee' in the kitchen, stops his brothers from fighting, and stops me from yelling at his brothers and calling them names.

This is an average lunchtime for me.  Trying to get J off his device, figure out what he wants to eat, making sure he eats everything, all while cleaning up messes and keeping peace between the boys.  J got to experience just that.

I asked J how he felt about what we just did.  He admitted that it was a little difficult.  He said he knew he'd have trouble getting me off the Kindle and that I'd be unresponsive, two things he regularly struggles with himself.  He said that the most difficult part was staying patient.  J knows that I am a very patient person, and he was trying to play the part perfectly.  He did an awesome job!  Instead of yelling at his brothers, he gently grabbed and shook their heads to get their attention, calmly telling them to settle down.  He even shook my head at one point.  That's something I do all the time to get the boys' attention.  J stayed calm throughout the entire scenario.  He made me super proud.

The next thing for me to do is to make sure J understands that he can stay calm.  He doesn't have to be pretending to be me.  I witnessed him calmly settle his brothers down, even his older brother.  I'm hoping that this activity was beneficial for J.  He had amazing feedback, so I know he learned something.  He also told me not to post about this on Facebook.  He didn't say anything about my blog!  Or sharing it to Facebook!  Sorry kiddo!

Anxious Grins

The boys say that I am evil.  Every Thursday morning during the Summer, I drag them to the library to see a show.  One week a singer performed.  Another week, a bug expert showed off some of his collection.  This week, Grins and Grins Comedy Show visited.  (They're pictured above.)
The Grins (yes, that is actually their last name!) put on a show full of jokes, juggling, and jabbering.  Mrs. Grins really likes to talk!  The show didn't really hold the boys' interest.  Not even when Mr. Grins brought out his Chinese yo-yo and did tricks.  The boys just looked bored throughout the entire show.
Until the finale.
Mr. Grins looked out into the back of the audience, searching for an adult to come up and assist him and his wife.  "How about you, in the blue shirt and glasses!"  He was staring right at me.
I went up and introduced myself, trying to stay calm.  Mrs. Grins lead me in a hula dance that got a little crazy.  It ended with us doing the Lawnmower.  Mr. Grins then brought out two mini surf boards (one pictured above) and a large tin can.  He then proceeded to put the surf boards flat on the floor and he and I "surfed" the waves.  He then got the can and put one of the surf boards on the can.  He told me step on up while he and his wife held my hands.  In their other hands were hula hoops.  They got me balanced, put the hula hoops around my body, and swapped hula hoops.  That was easy enough.
Mr. Grins pulled me to the side while his wife continued entertaining.
"Do you have any back problems?" he asked.  Oh boy.  Anxiety levels rose a little more.
After saying that I have a perfectly healthy back, Mr. Grins proceeded to stand on the surf board and get a good balance.  Mrs. Grins then jumped onto one of Mr. Grins hips.  I was then asked to jump onto the other hip.  I did so.  Mr. Grins balanced for about ten seconds before having us jump off again.
End of show.
I went back to the boys, who were all smiles at this point.  The 14- and 12-year old both asked me how my anxiety was.  (Have I mentioned how awesome these boys are?)  All I had to do was show them my shaky hands.  They laughed, but then asked me if I would be alright.  Aside from my knees knocking on the way to the car, I was perfectly fine.
I have always had great anxiety about being the center of attention.  So being somewhat forced into being in the spot light (especially during a comedy show!) was terrifying for me.  But I made it out alive.  And I realized that, despite what may have been going through my brain, there was never anything to worry about.  Except getting dropped by Mr. Grins.
On the way home from the library, I asked the boys what their favorite part of the show was.  They all said "The finale!"

Adulting pt. 2: Show Me the Money

I recently traded in my 1997 Ford Taurus (Goldfinger) for a 2004 Hyundai Sonata (The Hakuna Matata Sonata).  I had the radiator in the Taurus flushed three times in three months before trading it in.  I bought the Sonata, which runs beautifully.  It had a faint smell of gasoline which slowly became more and more noticeable.  When the Ice Age of 2018 finally ended, I learned that the air conditioner didn't work.  I eventually learned that my new car needed a new gas tank and a new compressor.
Meanwhile, for reasons beyond my control and beyond my boss's control, I was only working about fifteen hours a week, taking two college classes, and trying to figure out why my cat had been sneezing for the past two years.  Needless to say, a lot of money was being spent.  It's crazy to think that just one year ago, I had more money in the bank than I had ever had before.  But when life gives you lemons, you end up buying more lemons.
It got to the point where my parents (bless their hearts!) were loaning me money.  I am extremely grateful to them.  I am also annoyed.  I know how much my parents struggle.  I now feel like I am adding to their burdens.
I am back to working 30-40 hours with the boys.  Every paycheck I get is split between my parents, the bank (who partially owns my car), and my credit card.  I'm beginning to get caught up.  But then I remember that I'm moving out of state in two months.  Driving cross country.  Paying for gas, for school, groceries.  I wish my parents had warned me that adulthood would be so anxiety inducing!  Oh wait.  They did.
Despite their warnings, I grew up.  I should have listened better and stayed a child.  As if I had a choice.