The Manny Diaries pt. 2

Did I mention how much I love my job as a manny?  This job is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me.   But, as I mentioned last week, it was a long wait.  Seven years of applying to various child care positions on care.com and rarely even getting a response.  Meanwhile, I hear my female friends and classmates talking all about their multiple nanny jobs.  That doesn't seem fair.  I hope to change this.
Male child care providers are not the norm, as I said last week.  There aren't many of us out there.  And the handful of us who are applying to jobs aren't getting much in return.  The best place for a manny to be is in a big city.  That's where all the jobs are, where people are specifically looking for a manny.  I've checked, just out of curiosity.  But what about me?  I live in rural Pennsylvania with some suburban communities scattered around me.  There are always people looking for a child care provider.  New jobs are posted on care.com every day.  I'm not here to complain, though.  I'm here to tell you why you should consider hiring a man to watch your children. 
I'll be completely honest with you.  If you are the mother or father of a bunch of little girls, don't consider a manny.  I personally don't know what to do with girls.  I almost lost my mind playing My Little Pony with a girl I was babysitting once.  For a family of boys, though, a manny could be the perfect fit for your family.  In all my applications, I explain that all I want in life is to be looked up to.  I want to set a good example for the children (boys and girls) that surround me.  This is probably the number reason why a manny is a good idea.  Give your sons a good role model.  Dads and uncles can be great role models.  But most dads work all day.  And uncles only come to visit every once in awhile.  Your manny, though, spends a lot time with your kids.  That is his job, after all.  Find someone who can be a hero, or even just a big brother, to take care of your kids.
As I have learned with French Fry (see last week's post), men can be just as nurturing as women.  After French Fry got used to me, he became very comfortable with expressing himself to me.  He is also a big cuddler.  Whether we are reading books or watching a movie, he loves it when I put my arm around him and "keep him warm", as he puts it.  To me, this is a sign that I am doing something right.  French Fry trusts me and looks up to me for protection, even if I'm just protecting him from the cold.
Are you considering a manny yet?  I hope so!  But you should still be cautious.  These are your children, after all.  Here are some tips on hiring the perfect child care provider, whether they be male or female.

Hiring Process

One of the biggest concerns for parents, as it should be, is the safety of their children.  There are a few measures you can take in ensuring their safety.  First is interviewing likely candidates and getting to know them.  Don't just ask them about what they bring to the job.  Ask them about who they are.  What do they enjoy doing with their free time?  This can tell you a lot about a person.
Don't be afraid to ask for references.  These are your children we're talking about.  Most people I've worked with want between two or three references.  By talking with someone's friends or past customers, you can learn what to expect from the individual you are considering to hire.  What did they leave out during the interview?
And finally, ask for a background check.  This isn't common knowledge, but it is something you can do.  Have the candidate take the state level child abuse clearances.  Or, if you are looking for someone through a website (such as care.com), you can usually request a background check through the website.  Care.com is really good about that.
So next time you're in the market for a child care provider, even if it's just for a date night, don't discount the men.  Just follow the hiring process I have outlined for you, get to know your candidates, and don't be afraid to go against the norm.   

The Manny Diaries: Give the Guy a Chance

When I was fresh out of high school, my dream was go to college, meet a nice girl, eventually get married and have kids.  And my dream job for while I was in college was to be a manny.  "What's a manny?"  It's okay.  I get that a lot.  A manny is a male nanny.  "Oh, so you take care of old people?"  I get that a lot too.  No.  I take care of children.  This is usually followed by an awkward pause and then "Oh.  Cool."  People don't seem to be able to comprehend the fact that a young man such as myself would be willing to spend five days a week with someone else's children.  It honestly doesn't matter whose kids I'm watching.  I just enjoy spending time with people who act their age.
Seven years after graduating high school, I finally got a job as a manny.  And I couldn't be happier.  I take care of three high-energy boys (12-,10-,and 5-years old) who are a blast to be around.  I've been with them for almost three months now.  And in those three months, I have learned a lot.   I've learned something from each of the boys.

Lessons from a 12-year old

The 12-year old is somewhat of a mystery to me.  Just when I think I've got him figured out, he surprises me with something new.  Some days, he acts like your average pre-teen boy.  Other days, he's a moody 17-year old that hasn't hit puberty yet.  What I have learned from him is that I need to just be me.  Some days, I'm a boring 25-year old adult who worries too much about life.  Other days, I'm a bright and cheerful 25-year old who doesn't let life get him down.  I've also learned how to be strict, but still be fun.  I get the feeling some days that the 12-year old wants nothing to do with me just to find us having a deep conversation about global warming the next day.  Strict, but fun.  Disciplinarian and friend.

Lessons from a 10-year old

This kid makes stories out of anything.  I'm not quite sure what to believe.  He also has a difficult time focusing.  And he simply loves to yell at his little brother. If the 10-year old has taught me anything, it's how to deal with him as an idividual.  Every child is unique, so you need different tactics.  The 10-year old has a good sense of humor.  One day, after screaming at his little brother, I followed the 10-year old to his bedroom for a chat.

Me:  You know what I hate?

10-year old: What?

Me:  Zucchini

10-year old gives me confused, if not amused, glance.

Me:  You know what else I hate?

10-year old:  What?

Me:  Yelling.

And we had a great conversation on how to speak to younger brother.  By starting out with humor, I was able to capture the 10-year old's attention.  You have to know your enemy before you can defeat them.  Kind of dark, I know, but it's the best analogy I could think of.

Lessons from a 5-year old

The 5-year old and I are pretty much best friends.  He goes to preschool everyday for two hours.  After that, we get to spend the day together.  What I've learned from him is that, if you (a male) really try, you can, contrary to popular belief, be a nurturer.  The 5-year old, or French Fry, as I call him, is very high energy.  He goes from playing with cars to watching tv to raiding the refrigerator to reading a book all in the blink of an eye.  I'm usually just left really confused and a little dizzy.  But the one thing that these various activities have in common is:  me.  If he plays with cars, so do I.  When he's watching tv, he always sits next to me and insists on using my arm as a pillow.  When he's raiding the fridge, it's usually because he needs me to get something for him.  And when he's reading a book, he's always right at my side ready to cozy up with the book.  French Fry has taught me that just because I'm a man doesn't mean I'm incapable of caring for a child or showing emotion.  I believe that to be the best example I can be, I need to be soft and gentle.  Everyone wants their big, tough manly man.  Where is there any room for the kind and gentle men?

I am truly loving being a manny.  This job was worth the seven year wait.  But I often wonder why it took me so long to get this job.  I've been applying to child care jobs since before I graduated high school, but without much luck.  I had some occasional weekend/date night jobs, but that was about it.  But going back to people's responses to finding out what I do for a living, I now see why it took so long to get a manny job.  It's not the norm.  Men should be out working with their hands, building things, fixing cars.  I'm actually a bit of a germaphobe.  I like my hands clean, especially under the nails.  So my question is this:  Is my being a manny frowned upon by society?  I kind of think so.  For the longest time women couldn't do certain jobs because they were jobs best suited for men.  We as a society broke that mold.  Can we break this one also?