Never Give Up

As Sia once said in her song "Never Give Up", "never give up".  When times get hard, just keep going.  When you fail, try again.  Never give up.
As a teenager, I was a quitter.  I had very low self-efficacy.  I didn't try hard in school because I knew I would fail.  I thought I knew.  As an adult and college student, I have learned that enduring what seems impossible is the best way to move on in life.  I have been getting good grades in college.  I do all the assignments I need to do.  I don't give up before I even begin.
When I graduated high school, all I wanted was to get a job working with kids to help me pay for college.  I sent application after application.  After seven years of working in the food industry, I never quit applying to jobs.  I got a couple, but they fell through the cracks eventually.  So when I finally landed my current job with the boys, I was thrilled!  Seven years is a long time.  It would have been easy to just accept the fact that I would be stuck serving pizzas to hangry customers.  But through patience and determination, I was emancipated from the grease pit I worked in.  And I've never been happier.
Two years ago, I applied to attend Brigham Young University's Idaho campus.  I was told they have a 99% acceptance rate.  I was sure to get in.
I didn't.
That burst my bubble.  And having my bubble burst hurt!  So I continued at the community college, raising my GPA.  This year, I reapplied to BYU-I.  I got in!  Because I didn't give up.  I worked harder to achieve what I wanted.  And I got it.
The next line in Sia's song is "I'll find my way".  I feel that I have found my way.  I now know what I am capable of.  And, to quote another Sia song, "I am titanium".

Use Your Maximum Potential

I heard a true story at church this past Sunday about a motivational speaker named Dan Clark.  Clark once spoke to a group of football players.  He brought one of those players up to the stage and asked him how high he could jump.  The player said he could jump up about three feet.  Clark asked the coach to hold a broom twelve inches off the ground and asked the player to jump over the broom.  The player did so, jumping just high enough to get over the broom.  Clark then asked the player why, if he could jump up three feet, he only jumped a little over a foot.  The player responded that he only needed to jump the twelve inches.
The lesson that I took from this story is that you should use your maximum potential.  Don't hold back.  If someone needs your help, give them all the help you can give them.  Don't wait for others to come assist you in what you know you can do yourself. 
I have been off of work this past week while the boys are on vacation.  And my car is in the shop.  So, what better thing to do than clean?  I cleared off a couch, the loveseat, most of the living room, scrubbed floors, vacuumed, and cleaned a bathroom.  I did what I could.  There are some areas in the house I am unable to clean because the things that need to be cleaned are my parents.  I don't want to misplace any of their things.  But why wait for my parents to start cleaning when I can do some parts myself? 
Lame example, I know, but it gets my point across.  I found something I could do and I didn't hold back.  I can now apply this principle to other parts of my life.   I can study harder, be nicer, eat healthier.  The sky is the limit, and I believe and I can touch the clouds.

Oh, For the Love of Philip!

(Gifts I have received from the boys:  a note from the 6-year old, and a loom bracelet and sour spray from the 11-year old.  "You'll need this to attract the ladies."  Hasn't worked yet.)

Recently, without intending to, the older boys have expressed how much they enjoy being with me.  It's easy with the 6-year old.  He has told me that he likes me a lot.  He has given me a hug.  Just one.  But a hug's a hug, right?  He even drew me a picture a few weeks ago.  The older boys, though, express themselves through their actions.  I mean, seriously.  You really think an 11-year old and a 13-year old are going to tell their manny that they love him?  You must be crazy.
The 13-year old loves talking with me.  Usually about global warming.  He's convinced that's how it's all going to end.  We joke around, poke fun at each other.  You have to understand that for about eight months, this young man wanted nothing to do with me.  He would avoid me like the plague, only talking to me when necessary.  So this is huge for me that he is enjoying my company.  He invited me to watch him play games on his computer once.  It wasn't much fun for me, but it showed him that I care and want to support him.
The 11-year old has a very strange way of showing his affection.  He has always been comfortable talking with me and being around me.  So it took me a while to realize that he liked having me around, that I wasn't just another babysitter.  I found this out two weeks ago.
The 11-year old has a lot of energy, especially in the mornings.  One morning, he decided to jump onto my back.  So I took him around the living room on my back for a little, then I sat on the couch.  On top of him.  Now, most kids giggle and let go.  This kid giggled and held on tighter.  Every time I tried to stand up, he pulled me back down.  So, we sat like that, just watching TV.  He put his head on my shoulder so he could see the show better.  It was awkward, but heart warming at the same time.
For the umpteenth time, I love my job.  I love the boys and getting to work with them.  I love seeing them grow and develop.  And I love being a part of their lives.