A Simple Case of Hypocrisy

Written by Anna Kretchman (my younger sister)
Why are we okay with songs like "Shape of You" (by Ed Sheeran)? Why do we rage on about rape and abuse while jamming out to songs about objectifying people?
"Shape of You" came on at work the other day and I literally had to go on break and try not to just start sobbing. I couldn't get it out of my head for a good fifteen minutes.
You see, I know what it feels like to be seen more as a body than as a person. I know what happens when the "shape of" a person is the main focus. Nothing good.
So I cannot be okay with glorifying situations in songs, movies, etc. where sex is the main focus of a relationship. I can’t be okay with one night stands and “friends with benefits.” I can’t be okay with everyone being okay with these things.
Why do we all want someone to love us for who we are, and yet everything in the media shows us that it’s fine to just love someone’s body? Why is everyone so angry when someone is molested, when children are being raised listening to horrible messages set to catchy music? Oh wait, you mean it’s NOT okay to just want someone’s body? Then why is that a common theme in everything that we see and hear? Why is it becoming harder and harder to find anything “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy” in the media when we all are horrified by what the media is teaching the world to do?
I can personally say that I’ve experienced someone loving the “shape of me” above all else and let me tell you, it didn’t make me feel beautiful or sexy. It made me feel violated. It made me feel like I, me as a person, wasn’t enough. So pardon me if I’m not going to listen to all of the popular tunes on the radio with you.

A Lesson in Literature

I love getting lost in a good book.  Entering new worlds.  Going on epic adventures.  Feeling like I am someone else (got to love books written in the first person!).  Out of the dozens of books I have read in my 26 years on Earth, few have stayed with me.  I easily forget plot and characters.  But there are two books that will stay with me forever.  I could read them over and over again.  These books are Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli and The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer.  Both books are aimed for a younger audience, middle school to early high school.
Milkweed follows a young boy in WWII Poland.  He finds himself in the Warsaw Ghetto, not knowing what is going on.  His innocent view of the world around him leaves the reader with an optimistic viewpoint of life.
The House of the Scorpion, which I am currently re-reading, is about a boy, Matteo, who finds out he is the clone of a wealthy drug lord.  An intense series of events eventually shows the reason behind Matteo's being 'born'.
The thing about these two books that really stand out to me is the childlike innocence of the main characters.  Horrible things are happening in the lives of these boys, but they somehow manage to find and hold on to the good things in life.
As an adult, I know I really struggle with seeing the good in the world.  Watching the news is terrifying!  Through reading books such as Milkweed and The House of the Scorpion, I am able to alter my perspective on things which, honestly, is much needed nowadays.   

Over Thinking Snow

I hate snow.  So much!  It's cold, it's wet, and it just gets in the way.  It's difficult to drive in.  Classes are cancelled, so your boss expects you to come in early.  Snow is awful.
This past week, however, after 2017's Snowstorm Stella, I learned to love snow again.  Well, maybe not love.  But I am enjoying it again.  Working with kids will do that to you.  Last time it snowed, one of the boys and I built a snowman.  Yesterday, all three boys and I went sledding.  Today, the five year old and I built a snow fort and did some more sledding. It took a child to show me that snow can still be fun.  It's amazing how points of views can change when it comes to people you care about.
Which brings me to over thinking snow.  Try to keep up.
Driving home from work today, I was thinking about the fun I had in the snow with the boys this week.  I was thinking about how I go the extra mile for them because I care about them.  Which got me wondering if I would go the extra mile for those I don't get along with.  I realized that I probably would not.
I wish to change that.  I was raised to treat everyone equally.  If someone is being mean to me, I still love them and show respect to them.  (I have this conversation with the five year old twice a week.)  I need to treat everyone as if I care about them.  Because I should care about them.  They are human, just like me.
So there you have it.  I've been enlightened by snow.

Who Am I?

When I think about all the things I do with my life, I make myself sound like the perfect individual who always keeps himself busy.  I have an awesome part-time job.  I'm taking an online class.  I am a Cub Scout leader.  I teach Primary (children's Sunday School).  I keep up with a weekly blog.  I make it seem as though I have my life under control.  This couldn't be farther from the truth.
At (nearly) 26-years old, I am pretty sure I have already gone through a mid-life crisis...multiple times.  I am now on my fourth Major change at school.  I often find myself wondering if I should just give up on school.  Is it really worth the money and stress?  I often think about quitting Cub Scouts.  What do the boys have to learn from me anyway?
Growing up, I was a quitter.  I quit sports.  I quit projects.  I had very low self efficacy.  As an adult, I see how that has affected my life.  It has always been easier for me to quit than to follow through.  When things get difficult, what is the point of going on?  Now I see that quitting is rarely the answer.  How am I to progress in life if I keep giving up?
I recently switched my Major from English Education to Physical/Occupational Therapy.  A lot of science classes are required.  After math, science is my least favorite subject.  But I got a B last semester in Biology.  I honestly didn't think that was possible.  Because of that B, my whole view on how to live my life has changed.  I never really thought that I could be whatever I wanted to be.  Now I know that anything is possible.  Through hard work and determination, I can reach my goals.  Now let's just hope this is the last time I change my Major.
As for the Cub Scouts, it's easy to lose patience when the boys don't listen and are jumping over the chairs and tables.  Let's play tag instead of listen to Philip!  That's my normal Wednesday night.  I gave up on the boys for a while.  Sure, I still went on Wednesdays.  I still attempted to teach them.  But it never seemed to work out for me.  But after being hired as a manny, I have learned how to better react to the boys, how to better teach them.  I am still struggling, but I finally have the boys participating.
The point I'm trying to make is to not judge others based on what you see or hear.  I try to hide the struggles in my life.  I want people to think that I am strong, that I truly am able to do all the things I do.  But maybe it's time to ask for help.  I shouldn't let life get me down when there are so many people around me willing to lift me up.
Who am I?  I'm Philip, manny, student, Cub Scout leader, blogger and future Physical/Occupational Therapist.  I am who I want to be.  A young man with flaws and much to learn.

Thank You!

I hit 1,000 views this week!  A big THANKS to all of you readers!  I appreciate all the positive feedback.  Please, feel free to share my posts.  I'm hoping to get another 1,000 views.  But this time, in less than 6 months.  My regularly posting certainly helps, but your support is what is important to me.  So go back through my blog and share what you like.  And there is anything you want me to talk about, leave a comment or message me.
Once again, thank you!