The Non Traditional Student

Ok, so I guess I'm still pretty young.  But it doesn't feel that way sometimes.  Especially in school.  I am the 26-year old sitting next to the fresh-out-of-high-school student, usually asking the youngster for help.  It's strange seeing people who graduated high school years after me graduating college before me.  It's honestly starting to annoy me.  But there is no one to blame but myself.
After graduating high school, I immediately registered with the local two year community college.  I then waited a year to begin classes.  I paid everything out of pocket.  No loans, scholarships, or grants.  It was pretty pricey.  So I waited a couple semesters until going back to school.  Now, six years later, I am a Sophomore,  still taking classes at the two year community college.  There are pros and cons to still being in school at my age, though.

Pros:

• Since I've been paying out of pocket, I'm not in debt.
• I've had plenty of time to work to help pay for classes.
• I've changed majors several times.  Fortunately, I haven't taken enough classes to get to far ahead for any majors.  I've pretty much got my generals out of the way.
• After I turned 23-years old, I could no longer claim to be a dependent with my parents.  The amount I was eligible for in grants went way up.  I took my first full-term semester for free!

Cons:

• I'm normally one of the oldest people in my class.
• All my friends have awesome jobs while I'm still trying to figure out the Quadratic formula.

Huh!  Not as many cons as I thought there would be.  And when I think of the cons, I remind myself that, even though it's taking a long time, I  am going to college.  I have friends who were amazing students in high school who showed a lot of promise, then dropped out of college because of drugs or alcohol.  So even though I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, I try to remember that I am moving forward. I might not get to where I want to be right away, but I am still making my way to the finish line.

Someone to Look Up to

When I was a Cub Scout, many moons ago, I remember going into the gymnasium at the church to play basketball after Den Meeting.  My fellow Cub Scouts and I would play Knockout with the leaders.  And we always had a blast.  Until the Boy Scouts came in.  The older boys would get a hold of all the basketballs and start their own game, forcing us younger boys off the court.  This always made me so mad.  We were there first!  Needless to say, I didn't really like being around the Boy Scouts.  Or any other teenage boys, for that matter.  They weren't people that I felt like I could look up to.
Everyone needs a good role model in their life.  It can be a parent, a teacher or leader, a friend, or even a friend's parent.  Why only have one?  Have as many as you want!
In my life working as a manny, a respite care provider, a Sunday School teacher, and Big Brother, there are a lot of little eyes looking up at me, watching what I do.  Being a role model comes naturally to me  (I know, toot toot!  There goes Philip tooting his own horn again!).  I love being around children.  For me, they are much easier to get along with than most adults.  In all honesty, I think a lot of my role models are the children I have worked with.  While I do my best to set a good example to the kids around me, little do they know that I am learning from them.  Be yourself, be honest, don't care what other people think, love unconditionally.  A lot can be learned from children.
My goal in life has always been to change the world, even if it's just one person at a time.  I often feel like I am failing at this.  I'm not seeing the fruits of my labors.  But I get surprised sometimes.
A couple of examples.  One day in Cub Scouts (as a leader, now, not as a Scout), I had the boys write thank you letters to someone they look up to.  One of the boys wrote a letter for me.  Now, let me tell you, this boy is insane!  Insanely busy, active, hyper, and talkative.  I felt like I was getting nowhere with this boy.  So you can understand my surprise when this young boy handed me the letter, thanking me for all that I have done for him to make him a better person.  I was deeply touched.
The second example is the 5-year old I take care of.  I had to take a day off for CPR training and the little guy was very stressed out about being with the back-up sitter.  I didn't realize this at the time.  So the week before my day off, I was joking around with the 11-year old about how I had the day off and I was never coming back.  I heard a loud "WHAT?!" from the other room.  The 5-year old came running in with tears in his eyes.  I asked what the matter was.  "You said something mean!" he told me.  I  apologized and explained that I was just joking around with his older brother.  This seemingly insignificant event showed me that, even though he never said anything before, the 5-year old looked up to me.  He felt safe with me.  This is an important thing for a child to feel.  That they can trust someone.
Look around you.  Are you alone?  Are you with people your age?  Younger people?  How do you act around these people?  How should you act around these people?  Ask yourself these questions when you are with others.  Are you the kind of person who takes a basketball from a group of children?  Or are you someone to look up to?

The Manny Diaries pt. 3

Step aside Jo Frost!  There's a new sheriff in town.  And his name is Supermanny!
Nothing has changed since last week's post.  I still love my job.  But there are challenges.  Summer, for example.  What do I do with three boys in the summer that they'll all enjoy?  And how do I discipline in a way that is effective, yet creative?  After a lot of contemplation, I've finally discovered the answers to both questions.

Question #1:  What do I do with three boys in the summer that they'll all enjoy?

Keep the boys' interests in mind.  Ask them what they want to do.  Find ways to make things happen, but don't be afraid to say no.  The 12-year old wants to do some expensive things, such as paintball and Hershey Park.  He understands that these are costly activities, so they may or may not happen.  The younger boys are a little easier to please.  Just give them a net and some water shoes and take them to the creek and they're set for hours.  Free can be fun!
Another thing to do with the boys this summer is to get them out of their comfort zones.  The boys despise reading.  So what did we do yesterday?  We got signed up for the library's Summer Reading Program, which, by the way, is free.  Did I mention that free can be fun?  The boys were given sheets to keep track of their reading.  They get to mark off every time they read for ten minutes and eventually earn prizes.  The 12-year old read for an hour yesterday!  That blew my mind!  It just takes a little motivation.
Every Thursday, the library will have a different show or demonstration.  For example, today, the boys and I went to see a science show.  Next week is a magic show.  I'm super excited about Thursday mornings now.



Question #2:  How do I discipline in a way that is effective, yet creative?

I had a blast with this!  My creative juices have really been pumping for the past month or so.  I even have pictures of my creations!

This is Beastboy from Teen Titans Go.  This show is always on!  I've probably seen every episode sixteen times by now.  So, since Beastboy is such a well known character for the 5-year old, I decided to use him as my example.  As you can see in the pictures, Beastboy has listening ears, watchful eyes, a respectful mouth, gentle hands, and gentle feet.  These are all characteristics that the 5-year old needs to work on.  When the 5-year old, say, hits one of the dogs...

...Beastboy loses his hands.  Beastboy is a whipping boy of sorts.  But the 5-year old gets very offended when his whipping boy gets punished.  Doesn't sound like the 5-year old is getting disciplined, though, huh?  If Beastboy loses all his detachable parts, the 5-year old loses a privilege.  No more iPad for the rest of the day.  Or no more TV for the rest of the day.  With Beastboy, discipline is still happening, but in a way that the 5-year old can understand.

What's the best way to keep zombies out of your house during the zombie apocalypse?  Plant a garden, obviously.  The 11-year old loves playing games on his iPad.  He's been playing a lot of Plants vs. Zombies lately.  Thus the plant and the zombie.  But enough about the game.
On to the discipline.  You know how in golf the less points you have the better?  The same is true in this case.  I took all of the 11-year old's worst habits then made him make the point system.  I helped.  He yells a lot, so for yelling, he only wanted one point.  I think we finally agreed on three points.  For lying, which he is doing very well on, he wanted five points.  That's not how this works.  The more you do something, such as yelling, the more points you get, in hopes that you will think before you act.  The points limit is ten points.  After getting ten points, the 11-year old loses his iPad for the day.  If things continue, he'll lose his Playstation.  But don't worry!  He can redeem himself.  By apologizing or using his manners, he can have points deducted to get back down to zero.  If we're having a really rough day and we're at nine points, the 11-year old has the option of cheating to get a clean slate.  For a cheat, he simply needs to perform a chore, such as folding laundry, taking out the trash, or helping with dinner.  After performing the chore, the score sheet goes back to zero.  And if he acts up again, we start all over.
The important thing about this idea, in my opinion, was giving the 11-year old the power to make the point system (even if I did have to guide him a little bit).  This shows him that I care about his opinion and I trust his judgement.

The 12-year old is developing the mouth of a sailor.  So what to do?  I Googled alternatives to swear jars and found...nothing.  So a swear jar it is.  Actually, it's a What the What?? jar.  But, instead of the 12-year old putting money into the jar, we'll just be using tokens.  If he gets five tokens put in the jar, he loses the Xbox for the day.  Ten tokens, he loses his phone.  I prefer this method over the paying money method because nobody benefits.  With the traditional swear jar, someone (usually the parents) benefits from the money in the jar.  With the What the What?? jar, the only thing being served is discipline.

This little guy is the Gadget Bag.  In the past, the boys' mom used to hide their iPads.  Give the boys five minutes and they either have the iPads in their hands, or the house is a mess from the search.  The Gadget Bag is a form of trust, on both the boys' part, and mom's part.  And mine, I guess.  When the "gadgets" aren't in use, they go in the bag.  This way, the boys always know where their beloved iPads are.  But, heaven forbid, an iPad should be taken from the Gadget Bag without permission.  Punishment is, you guessed it, no more iPad for the rest of the day.  I love this method, which I thought I came up with myself only to find other people use it also.  The Gadget Bag shows that the boys' mom and I trust them enough to do the right thing by keeping the iPads in the bag.  It also shows the boys that they can trust mom and I.  The days of hiding things from them is over.  Trust is an important thing, especially amongst family members.

My job couldn't be more perfect.  I am extremely happy with where I am in my life right now.  I love working with the boys and helping to raise three fine gentlemen.  After almost eight months with the boys, I have seen so much change in all three of them.  Now I know why Supernanny does what she does.  She sees the fruits of her labors.  And her fruits are life changing.  Even though I may think as myself as Supermanny, I know I still have a ways to go before I can take on Jo Frost in nanny to manny combat.  But she had better get ready, because here I come.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I haven't told you guys recently how much I love my job as a manny.  I absolutely love it!  It is the perfect job for me at this time in my life.  I have fun working with the boys.  I never know what is going to happen next.  The boys keep me entertained with their jokes and silly antics.  And their mother, my boss, is awesome!  She goes out of her way to make sure I am happy and comfortable.  She is a great listener and thoughtfully considers any ideas I may come up with for the boys.  Could it get any better than this?
I didn't always have the perfect job, though.  Before my manny job came along, I worked as a shift manager at a restaurant.  Let me tell you, that is not a dream job. I was miserable as a manager.  I was always tired and irritable.  There were only three things that made me happy.  The end of the shift, my bed, and my cat.  I was a manager for about three out of my seven years at the restaurant.  Way too long!
I've worked other jobs along the way, too.  I worked retail.  That lasted three months.  I worked at a gas station.  That lasted two weeks.  I just couldn't seem to find my happy place.  I knew I wanted to work with kids, but, as I mentioned in The Manny Diaries, child care is a tough place to be in if you are not a female.  So when I finally got hired to work with the boys, I almost immediately quit my management job.  And after some time, I noticed some changes, which my older sister just confirmed for me.  She told me that I seem happier. There are hundreds of things that make me happy, not just three.  I still get very tired after a day of chasing a 5-year old around, but I don't dread going back to work the next day.  I look forward to it.
Don't be afraid of changing jobs.  Finances are important, but I believe happiness is more important.  I am proof that doing what you love can change your outlook on life.  I went from being Scrooge (A Christmas Carol), always negative and hating everything, to Buddy (Elf), finding the good in everything and always striving to be happy.  Pass the happiness on like a disease.  That's what I try to do everyday, now.  Happiness is contagious.  Don't be afraid to catch it and share it.

Choose the Right

Anyone who has known me for the last seven-ish years knows that I have a thumb ring similar to the one seen above.  When people ask me what the letters stand for, I hesitantly tell them "Choose the Right".  I get embarrassed.  This little phrase is something that you teach children at a young age.  Choose the right.  Make good choices.  For me, the ring is more of a fashion statement than a reminder.
Today, though, my ring was a reminder.  The 5-year old I take care of decided to stick some rocks in someone's exhaust pipe at the park.  It's crazy what can happen when you turn your back for ten seconds!  Anyway, the 5-year old and I hung out in the parking lot until the owner of the vehicle arrived.  I told her what had happened and she thanked me for my honesty and took my phone number.  She than gave the 5-year old some wet wipes to clean off his hands and accepted his apology.  She thanked me for my honesty and went on her way.  She was very nice about everything.
In all honesty, though, I was just going to leave a note for her.  I had no idea how long she would be at the park.  I didn't really want to wait.  But she showed up while I was writing the note, which caused me some anxiety.  I thought, maybe I should just leave.  She doesn't need to know who put rocks in her exhaust pipe.  The whole situation made me feel extremely uncomfortable.  After talking to this woman, however, I felt reassured that I had done the right thing.  I mean, I knew I was doing the right thing, but my anxiety was telling me otherwise.
This was pretty much a situation straight out of the children's Sunday School manuals at my church.  "What should Philip do?  What would you do in this situation?"  I'm glad that I was able to overcome my anxiety and do what was right.  After almost eight years of wearing my CTR ring, I was finally able to use it as the reminder it was made to be.