Jesus=Hate?

On Tuesday, while I was getting the 6-year old ready for the bus, I received an alert text from my school.  There was a hate group protesting on campus.  The text was just to tell students to be safe.  I didn't have class on Tuesday, so it was nothing I had to worry about.  But I was curious.
A few hours later, a video finally surfaced on YouTube.  The video showed a small group of young men with various protest signs.  One sign read "Women belong in the kitchen".  Another, "You are not a good person".  But the one that stuck out to me said "Obey Jesus".
I was confused.  I had received a text about a hate group on campus.  And, according to other signs and words that were said, Jesus was the center of the protest.  But since when has Jesus been associated with hate groups?
Growing up a Christian, I was taught that Jesus and God are love.  Unconditional love.  Our choices might upset out Father in Heaven, but His love for us never fades.
In today's world, however, many people see Christianity as an enemy.  With protests from Westboro Church and other supposedly Christian organizations, it's no wonder Christianity is being given a bad name.  The world is beginning to think that Christians only care about themselves and their beliefs.  And these beliefs are being forced upon others.  This wasn't the way Jesus acted, and it's surely not the way He wants us to act.
Jesus went about healing the sick, blessing children, and comforting sinners.  Sure,  he would tell people to 'sin no more', but is there anywhere in the Bible where Jesus follows up with these people to see if they have stopped sinning?  I can't think of any.  That's because we all have a choice.  And Jesus respects that.  We have the choice to learn his Gospel, or to shun it.  Whatever choice we make, Jesus still loves us.
So to all my non-Christian friends.  Even though you may not believe in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, I do.  And I know that you are loved.  I love you.  And Jesus loves you.  Regardless of your choices.

I Can't Complain

I can't complain.  Like, I literally can't complain.  I don't want to come off as rude.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  I don't want to seem needy.  I spend so much time worrying about what other people think that I forget to worry about myself.  When I want to complain about something, I instead think of how things could be worse.  I can't complain.
I can't complain about having to spend almost all of my savings on various necessities a few months ago.  That makes me look like I'm begging for money.
I can't complain about my health.  People will think I'm looking for sympathy.
I can't complain about people not sharing my posts.  Everyone will think I'm craving attention.
I can't complain about not being able to get date night child care jobs because people won't share the post I've practically begged to be shared.  (Thanks to the one person who did share, though!  You know who you are!) 
As I'm writing this post, I'm worrying about what you, the reader, are thinking about me right now.
But I can't complain.
I have enough money to get by.
My health is fine at this point in time.
I have a good job.
I can't complain.
I shouldn't complain.

Operation: Childspeak pt. 2 (Revised)

President Theodore Roosevelt famously said, "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far."  I never really understood this quote until recently.  Speaking softly and carrying a big stick are two important parts of childspeak.  I don't think that's what President Roosevelt had in mind when he said these words, but I think they fit perfectly.
When disciplining a child, most parents tend to raise their voices, exhibit anger and frustration.  They forget that discipline should be done with love, not malice.  So the first part of this childspeak post is to speak softly.
I have worked with many different families, each with their own unique way of parenting.  The one thing that always stuck out to me was the way the parents would discipline their children.  I noticed that the parents who yelled at their kids often got talked back to or yelled at.  No one likes to be yelled at.  By yelling at a child, the child's first response will either be defensive - shutting down and cowering in fear - or, more commonly, offensive - yelling back.  Think of it this way.  If someone punches you, you're likely to punch back, right?  If someone is yelling at you, you're most likely going to yell back.
I noticed that parents who spoke softly while disciplining were more successful.  Their children were more likely to listen and do what they were told.  Speaking softly shows respect.  It shows your child that, even though they did something wrong, you are still willing to respect them as a human being.
While working with the boys, I feel I have successfully used the idea of speaking softly.  If one of the boys does something wrong, I calmly explain to them what they did wrong and how they can fix it.
Which brings me to carrying a big stick.  At first, I interpreted the big stick as physical discipline, which I don't believe in doing.  But in my experience working with the boys, I have learned that the big stick has two parts.  The first part is an explanation.  The second part is gently showing the child who has the upper hand.  For example, if your child is running with scissors, it would be easy just to take the scissors and give your child a little swat.  But what does your child learn?  They learn not to run with scissors.  Which is a start.  Instead of swatting your child, why not try explaining why they shouldn't run with scissors?  Make this a teaching moment.  Afterwards, think of a simple form of discipline, such as a short time out.  This teaches your child that what they did was wrong and lets them know that if they run with scissors again, they can probably expect another time out.  For kids, listening to an adult explain something can be just as painful as a good swat.  But this way, they are learning why their behavior was inappropriate as well as learning (or re-learning) who is in charge.
I took the younger boys for a bike ride the other day and told them that any time they heard me say "Stop", they had to stop.  On our bike ride, we eventually came to a crosswalk.  I said "Stop", nice and loudly.  The 6-year old went straight on through the crosswalk.  I told him to stop again, and he did.  I explained to him that he had to stop at all the crosswalks to check for cars.  He apologized for not stopping when I told him to.  We had no problems after that.  In this case, I only used the first part of carrying a big stick.
Another boy I take care of was giving me difficulty with his chore.  He was either taking his time, or not doing it at all.  His siblings had all finished their chores and were waiting for him so they could start a movie.  I gave him a time limit.  If the chore wasn't done by then, he had to go to bed while his siblings watched a movie.  He didn't get his chore done on time.  And after he finally did get it done, he got a little too physical with one of his brothers.  I sent him to bed early.  But not until after we had a nice, calm discussion about everything that went wrong.  We talked about listening and working hard.  He seemed to understand everything I explained to him and agreed to do better next time. (Part one)  After our civil chat, he asked if he still had to go to bed.  I told him that he did.  He was upset, but we didn't have any problems after that.  He went straight to bed. (Part two)  Big stick.
Childspeak is based around love and understanding.  You want your children to feel loved, especially when they are being disciplined.  Parents make rules to keep their children safe.  But younger kids don't understand that.  Speak softly and carry a big stick to help your child understand.  You as a parent will go far.  Your child will go even farther.

The Golden Birthday

On March 27, 2018, I celebrated my Golden Birthday.  I turned 27 on the 27th.  It was a day unlike any other.  For starters, I was asked to arrive at work an hour early.  That doesn't happen very often.  But because I love my job, I went in an hour early.  I bought some cookies and cream cupcakes to share with the boys.
The 11-year old nearly missed the bus.  He ran outside with on shoe on a foot, and the other in his hand.  The 6-year old and I played Beyblades, did some homework, and watched his favorite YouTube videos.
After getting the 6-year old on the bus, it was time to go...to the cardiologist.  I had an echo-cardiogram three weeks previous.  The images came back looking good. So now it was time to go...to the pharmacy.
I picked up my medication, Betty the pharmacist wished me a happy birthday, and then, it was finally time to go...home.
I was met at the door by my 3-year old niece, who locked me out.  After I was finally let into the house, my 5-year old nephew popped up and said "Surprise!".  I acted surprised.  Then, it was time to go...to the movies.  My sister, niece, nephew, and my dad went and saw The Greatest Showman at the cheap theater.  The music and cinematography were amazing!  Then it was time to go...back home.
For dinner, we had lasagna, my favorite meal.  For dessert, peanut butter and chocolate cheese cake that my sister made.  (It was amazing, despite setting the oven on fire while baking!)  I opened my presents (a Target gift card, some drawings and books by the kids, and some new luggage), and spent the rest of the evening playing with my niece and nephew.  Then, it was time to go...to bed.
Not the most exciting birthday, I'm sure.  Just another adult birthday.  But it was a good day.  I have a feeling that this is going to be a great year for me.

On Monday, I Became the Villain

This past Monday was a very stressful day for the 6-year old and me.  It started out like a normal day.  When I arrived at the house, the 6-year old was watching TV.  I got him some breakfast, got him dressed, and we went on with our day.  Noon came around, so we ate lunch.  Then, it was time to get ready for the school bus.  It was like something snapped in the 6-year old.  He didn't feel well all of a sudden (which is a regular occurrence.  He's not a big fan of school).  He threatened to take all his clothes off so he didn't have to go to school.  He ran around the couch like a wild man...er...boy.  School was absolutely not an option for him.
Meanwhile, I'm stressing out because I too had to go to class.  I simply can't miss a day of math.  I get confused easily enough without missing a day.
After chasing the 6-year old around, I finally caught him and set him on my lap.  For a such a little guy, he is really strong, squirming and fighting while I just tried to talk to him.  I told him that if he didn't go to his school, he would have to suffer through my 75-minute long class.  He was willing to sit through my class.  That is how much he hates school.  So, I made up my mind.  I got my white board and some books and decided to take the 6-year old to class with me.  He willingly put on his shoes and jacket and went to the car.
I started to pull out of the driveway.  Cue anxiety:
What if my professor doesn't let him in the classroom?  What will my boss think?  I could lose my job!  I love this job.  I can't lose it!  But what do I do?  I'm taking him to my class.  No, I can't do that.  I'll stay home with him.  No, I can't miss my class.  My thoughts just kept racing.  These thoughts felt like they lasted a lifetime, but in reality, it only took me a few seconds to go out of my mind.  I finally reached a decision.
I pulled the car back into the driveway and told the 6-year old that I needed to grab something from the house.  He was busy drawing a picture on the white board.  I went into the house and grabbed the 6-year old's backpack.  He didn't even notice me get back in the car.  We drove the five minutes to the elementary school.  It wasn't until we were passing the noisy kids out at recess that the 6-year old realized what I had done.
"What are you doing?!" he asked in a high pitched squeal.  "Did you trick me?"  That's  when my heart broke.  I did trick him.  I lied to him.  After over a year of me teaching the boys not to lie, promising them that I would never lie to them, I became the villain.
We walked into the school, shock evident on the 6-year old's face.  I signed him in while he left the office, a staff member walking with him.  His face is still burned into my memory.  Shock, disbelief, fear.  It was too much for me to handle.
But don't worry.  This story has a happy ending.
The next day, Tuesday,  I arrived at the house to find the 6-year old waiting for me at the front door.  I pulled up to the house.  He smiled and waved.  I smiled and waved back.  We had a great day, he and I.  He told me that he had a good day at school on Monday and that he wasn't mad at me.  This is why I prefer working with children over adults.  Children are so quick to love and forgive.  I felt like my anxiety had turned me into a real life Maleficent, but this young child showed me love and forgiveness.
Even though he wasn't mad at me, I made sure to apologize for lying to him.  I explained that going to school is very important.  I explained that I didn't want to go to school either, but I did anyway because I knew that it was important to keep learning.
Monday was a very trying day for me.  But I learned things.  Mostly about myself.  I try not to blame things on my anxiety.  My actions are my fault, not my anxiety's.  But on Monday, the day I became the villain, my anxiety really did take over.  And it was terrifying.

Uncommon Sense

If you watch the news, read the newspaper, work customer service, or, honestly, just leave your house and people watch, then you know that common sense isn't as common as it once was.  People are so absorbed in their own lives and feelings that they forget to be rational.  Actions are taken in favor of one's beliefs and understandings.  It doesn't seem to matter who else is affected by one's choices.
The three examples that come to mind are:

1.  Gun Control
2.  Abortion
3.  Food Stamps

These are huge issues in the United States today, and I feel as though people are taking sides instead of using their common sense.  So these are my views.  Please respect them as I respect yours.

1.  Gun Control

I remember a couple years ago listening to then President Obama talking about gun control.  I just happened to be on Facebook while I was watching this speech.  Not once did President Obama mention taking anyone's guns away.  But can you guess what was all over my news feed?  People accusing President Obama of trying to take their guns.  That's not what he was saying at all.  If people would listen to understand, they would know that President Obama wanted to improve background checks.  I didn't agree with a lot of what President Obama did while in office, but I agreed with him on background checks.
Common sense says that if a criminal wants to purchase a gun, they will find a way.
Uncommon sense says that by creating stricter background checks and raising the age for those who purchase guns, it will become a little more difficult to get a gun.  Key words being 'a little'.  This won't solve our gun violence problems, but it may help.  A little.

2.  Abortion

I really hate hearing people say "My body, my choice".  Although it's true, it is your body, and yes, you should have a say in what happens to your body, there are, in my opinion, limits.  Abortion being the main one.
Common sense says that if a woman is raped, a victim of incest, or likely to die during labor, abortion is a good answer.
Uncommon sense agrees.  But uncommon sense doesn't like the idea of a woman who accidentally got pregnant having an abortion because it's "her body, her choice".  What about the baby's body?  What about the baby's choice?  Do you know how many couples are unable to have children?  Do you know how many people are waiting to adopt a child?  As much as I hate to say it, if you don't want the innocent soul in your womb for yourself, put it up for adoption.  Let the child live.  Give someone else the chance at being a parent.

3.  Food Stamps

Having worked in retail, (even if it was only for three months) I swiped a lot of EBT and SNAP cards.  Most people used them wisely.  They bought the things they needed to feed their families.  But there were some people who took advantage.  In my three months working retail, I had someone buy a cart full of Mountain Dew 2-liters with food stamps.  I had someone else buy a cart full of Halloween candy.  Then, one day, I had a woman who just wanted a microwave meal.  But it wasn't approved.  Buy as much soda and candy as you want, but you want a Healthy Choice frozen meal?  Too bad!
Common sense says that people who rely on food stamps have the right to buy whatever food they want.
Uncommon sense agrees, to a degree.  The current plan is to limit what food stamps can buy.  Have you seen the potential list of foods that will be approved?  It's awful!  Instead of canned fruits and vegetables, let's approve fresh fruits and vegetables.  Instead of ready-to-eat meals, lets approve healthy ingredients.  And there must be a way to limit things.  No more carts full of garbage.

Uncommon sense, the sixth sense, is getting lost among people's wants and desires.  Think about your life.  What are you focused on?  Wants?  Or needs?  What are you willing to do to get what you need?  What are you willing to change to improve the world for others?  Think about it.  Use your uncommon sense.

Ups and Downs

Life is full of ups and downs, just like a roller coaster.  Children have ups and downs.  Adults have ups and downs.  Children go up and down an anthill, it seems.  Adults go up and down the Rocky Mountains.
It's the first day of March, and I feel like I have finally reached level ground.  True, I'm not moving up, but I'm not moving down either. 
In January, I found out that I got accepted into Brigham Young University's Idaho campus.  Last week, I was told that I would begin in September.  In six short months, I'll be living in Idaho with my younger brother and sister, meeting new people and learning new things.  That's an up for me!
From the end of January to the middle of February, I was hooked up to a heart monitor.  Last week, I had my follow up with my cardiologist.  There were some irregularities in the recordings of my heart.  So now I'm on heart medication.  I go back next week for an echo-cardiogram, then back again in three weeks to see how well the medicine is working.  This is a down for me.
But I'm on level ground.
I try not to stress out over things, which is hard for someone with severe anxiety.  But things have always worked out well for me.  I have never been so far down that I've been close to hitting rock bottom.  I can always see the upside in my future, and that's what I cling onto.

The Manny Diaries pt. 5: The Résumé

As mentioned in a previous post, I have been accepted to Brigham Young University Idaho campus.  I'm not sure when I will be going out yet, though.  They haven't given me that information.  But within the next year, I will be a student in Idaho.

Which means I'll be in the market for a new job.

So, without further ado, I give you my informal job résumé.  

Goal

To attain a job as a part time manny.  I am looking for a before and after school job, as I will also be in school.

Education

I am working on my Bachelor's degree in Psychology.  My aim is to be a middle school guidance counselor.

Hobbies

I absolutely love photography.  I enjoy reading and writing.  I play baseball, volleyball, and tennis, all just for fun, not competitive. 

Experience

I have been a child care provider for about twelve years.  I taught children's Sunday School for eight years.  I was a Cub Scout leader for about six years.  I interned with a 3rd grade class my Senior year in high school.  I volunteered at a week long Cub Scout day camp every summer for the past ten years.  I was a respite care provider for children with special needs for about six months.  I have experience with autism and Down's syndrome.  I also volunteer with Big Brothers/Big Sisters.

Recent Experience

I have worked as a part time manny for a divorced couple for a little over a year, working in both homes.  I worked with their three boys, who I will call M, J, and A.  I assisted the boys with their homework, took them on field trips over the summer, played games, and was (and still am) a good friend.  I aided the mother in disciplining the boys by using visuals and rewarding good behavior.  Below are the tools I made for the boys  that their mother and I have had a lot of success with.

Beast Boy

Beast Boy was created for the youngest child, A, who was 5-years old when I made it.  Beast Boy is, essentially, a whipping boy.  If A doesn't do what he is told, he gets a warning.  One warning.  If he doesn't do what he is told again, Beast Boy loses his ears.  If A says something disrespectful, he gets a warning.  Second offense, Beast Boy loses his mouth.  And so on.  If Beast Boy loses two or more sets of body parts, A loses a privilege.  If Beast Boy has all his parts by bedtime, A gets a marble.  Once he collects ten marbles, he will be rewarded.

Beast Boy has worked amazingly well with A.  Beast Boy rarely loses any parts anymore.

Circle Board

The middle child, J, has something similar to Beast Boy.  It's the same concept, just in a more mature design.  If J lies, he gets one warning.  If he lies again, he loses the Lying Circle.  Just like with Beast Boy, if two or more Circles are taken off, J loses a privilege.  If all the Circles are still on the board by bedtime, J receives a marble.  When J has received ten marbles, he will be rewarded.

What the What?? Jar

The oldest child, M, is pretty independent.  But some times words escape his mouth that would make his grandmother blush.  So we have the What the What?? Jar.  Every time a cuss word escapes M's mouth, a token is placed in his jar.  If he gets five tokens, he loses his video games for the day.  If he gets ten tokens, he loses his phone for the day.  Honestly, I think M has only ever had up to three tokens in the jar.  The jar doesn't get used much anymore, fortunately.

Chuggington Sign

Chuggington is A's go-to show during lunch time.  He absolutely loves trains.  So when he told me that he wanted a sign for his door to keep the monsters out, I thought that Brewster, Wilson, and Koko would be the perfect guardians.  The sign has A's name on it so the monsters know whose room it is.  It is A's room.  Not the monsters'.  Before bed, if A has any worries, he tells those worries to the Chuggers.  While A is sleeping, the Chuggers do all the worrying for him.  This is my latest project, so I'm not yet sure how well it works.

The Trust Bag

The younger boys were wary of the Trust Bag for awhile.  They eventually got over it.  The Trust Bag stays in the kitchen and is home to the iPads.  In the past, the boys' mother used to hide the iPads so the boys wouldn't use them when they weren't allowed.  This resulted in the boys hunting through the house, going through every cupboard, drawer, and closet, looking for the iPads.  The point of the Trust Bag is...well...trust.  By keeping the iPads within the boys' reach, mother is trusting the boys not to use them without permission.  The boys are trusting their mother not to hide them.  The boys are not allowed to take the iPads out of the Trust Bag without permission.  If they do, they lose the iPad for the day.  We have only had this problem twice, and it was towards the beginning of the Trust Bag's existence.


Moving on with the résumé.

Awards/Certifications
I am CPR and First Aid certified.  I am also Food Safety certified.  My Senior year in high school, I was awarded the Good Citizenship award.  Working with the boys, I have been gifted a drawing, a loom band bracelet, and a sour candy spray, some of the best awards I have ever won.

In Conclusion
Thank you for taking the time to review my unorthodox résumé.  The only other thing you need to know about me is that I only want the best for the kids I work with.  I strive to live my life in such a way that I can be a positive male role model to the children around me.  Safety is important.  Education is important.  But so is having fun and enjoying life.  Making memories starts at a young age, but they can last a lifetime. I just want to help make happy memories.

Stand Up to Bullying

 
This past weekend, I took my Little to see the movie Wonder.  It's based off of a novel about a boy, Auggie, who was born with a disfigured face.  After being home schooled for five years, Auggie's parents decide it's time to send him to public school.  And so the movie follows Auggie in his first year of middle school.  Throughout the the movie, Auggie gets teased and called names.  Eventually, though, the other kids learn to like Auggie and become his friend.
This movie really got me thinking about how we can better teach our children to be kind to others and stand up to bullying.  Here are some of my ideas:
1.)  Teach Tolerance
2.)  Be an Example
3.)  Love Everyone
and
4.)  Stand Up

1.)  Teach Tolerance
Bullies tend to pick on those that are different.  In Wonder, Auggie was bullied because of his disfigured face.  In grade school, I was teased because I was so quiet.  And hairy.  I was different.
Children need to understand that everyone is different in their own way.  I was fortunate to grow up in a military community.  I was surrounded by people of all colors and cultures who had lived in many different countries.  I learned tolerance simply by living in a diverse community.  Not everyone is that fortunate.
So how does one teach tolerance?  Start in the home.  Read books or watch movies that deal with people of different cultures.  In the community, you can visit museums that exhibit different cultures.  Visit churches other than your own.  Get to know your neighbors.  Visit nursing homes.  Teach your kids about disabilities.  There is so much you can do just in your neighborhood.

2.)  Be an Example
Believe it or not, your kids watch everything you do.  They learn their behaviors from you.  What are showing them?  How do you treat them?  How do you treat your spouse or ex-spouse?  When you are around your kids, do you think to yourself, "Should I act this way?".
Some key areas to focus on are when you are frustrated or angry.  How do you react to anger?  Some people yell, punch things, curse, you name it.  The six-year old and I had a brief, simple conversation last week after he got angry.  His older brother beat him in Wii Lacrosse, so he flipped him off.  We had a nice chat about how it is okay to be angry, but it's never okay to be mean.  I repeated that a couple times this week.  This applies to parents as well.  It's okay to be angry.  But think about how you display your anger.
Another area to focus on is cursing.  It might not seem like a big deal, but it is.  Using bad language can be damaging.  I have had to work with all three boys on using kind words and substitutions such as heck, shoot, crap, and fridge.  (Yes, you read that right.  The boys say fridge.  "What the fridge?")  By filtering what your child says, your child is learning to think before they speak.  This can eventually lead to thinking before calling someone a bad name.  Thinking before offending someone.  So the more you watch your language, the kinder your kids will be.

3.)  Love Everyone
This one can be difficult.  You expect me to love the kid who called me a werewolf in third grade?  Or the kid who used my younger brother as a punching bag?
Yes.
Love comes easily to some.  They are kind to everyone, get along great with anyone.  But it seems that those types of people are becoming more and more hard to find.  Instead, you find people who throw each other under the bus, hate for no reason, are cruel for their own pleasure.  Don't be like that.
Oftentimes, love begins at forgiveness.  That child that called me a werewolf?  I forgave him.  I eventually learned to laugh along with him, even howl.  That kid who beat up my brother?  I taught him and my brother to be friends.  You have to look past people's actions and words to see who they really are.  This is difficult to teach.  So we go back to teaching by example.  Let your children see you be forgiving, be the bigger person.  They will follow in your footsteps.
The most important thing to do is love your children.  When they feel your love, the warmth that your love brings, they won't be able to help themselves.  They will want to share that warmth with others.

4.)  Stand Up
As important as it is to teach your kids not to be bullies, it is equally important to teach them to stand up to bullies.  Now I don't mean picking fights and defending themselves.  I'm talking about being a tattle tale.
No child wants to be a tattle tale.  That's how you lose friends.  But if someone is picking on you or anyone else, the right thing to do is tell an adult.  Standing up to a bully goes along with loving everyone.  Does your child take pleasure in seeing other kids being picked on?  Or do they want the bullying to stop?  By reporting a bully, your child is showing love to the victim.  Don't let your child be afraid to speak to an adult.  Make sure they know that, even though it might not be the most popular thing to do, being a tattle tale can be the right thing to do.

Wonder had a happy ending.  A lot of bullying stories don't.  Teach your kids to do the right thing.  Teach them to stand up to bullying.

Never Give Up

As Sia once said in her song "Never Give Up", "never give up".  When times get hard, just keep going.  When you fail, try again.  Never give up.
As a teenager, I was a quitter.  I had very low self-efficacy.  I didn't try hard in school because I knew I would fail.  I thought I knew.  As an adult and college student, I have learned that enduring what seems impossible is the best way to move on in life.  I have been getting good grades in college.  I do all the assignments I need to do.  I don't give up before I even begin.
When I graduated high school, all I wanted was to get a job working with kids to help me pay for college.  I sent application after application.  After seven years of working in the food industry, I never quit applying to jobs.  I got a couple, but they fell through the cracks eventually.  So when I finally landed my current job with the boys, I was thrilled!  Seven years is a long time.  It would have been easy to just accept the fact that I would be stuck serving pizzas to hangry customers.  But through patience and determination, I was emancipated from the grease pit I worked in.  And I've never been happier.
Two years ago, I applied to attend Brigham Young University's Idaho campus.  I was told they have a 99% acceptance rate.  I was sure to get in.
I didn't.
That burst my bubble.  And having my bubble burst hurt!  So I continued at the community college, raising my GPA.  This year, I reapplied to BYU-I.  I got in!  Because I didn't give up.  I worked harder to achieve what I wanted.  And I got it.
The next line in Sia's song is "I'll find my way".  I feel that I have found my way.  I now know what I am capable of.  And, to quote another Sia song, "I am titanium".

Use Your Maximum Potential

I heard a true story at church this past Sunday about a motivational speaker named Dan Clark.  Clark once spoke to a group of football players.  He brought one of those players up to the stage and asked him how high he could jump.  The player said he could jump up about three feet.  Clark asked the coach to hold a broom twelve inches off the ground and asked the player to jump over the broom.  The player did so, jumping just high enough to get over the broom.  Clark then asked the player why, if he could jump up three feet, he only jumped a little over a foot.  The player responded that he only needed to jump the twelve inches.
The lesson that I took from this story is that you should use your maximum potential.  Don't hold back.  If someone needs your help, give them all the help you can give them.  Don't wait for others to come assist you in what you know you can do yourself. 
I have been off of work this past week while the boys are on vacation.  And my car is in the shop.  So, what better thing to do than clean?  I cleared off a couch, the loveseat, most of the living room, scrubbed floors, vacuumed, and cleaned a bathroom.  I did what I could.  There are some areas in the house I am unable to clean because the things that need to be cleaned are my parents.  I don't want to misplace any of their things.  But why wait for my parents to start cleaning when I can do some parts myself? 
Lame example, I know, but it gets my point across.  I found something I could do and I didn't hold back.  I can now apply this principle to other parts of my life.   I can study harder, be nicer, eat healthier.  The sky is the limit, and I believe and I can touch the clouds.

Oh, For the Love of Philip!

(Gifts I have received from the boys:  a note from the 6-year old, and a loom bracelet and sour spray from the 11-year old.  "You'll need this to attract the ladies."  Hasn't worked yet.)

Recently, without intending to, the older boys have expressed how much they enjoy being with me.  It's easy with the 6-year old.  He has told me that he likes me a lot.  He has given me a hug.  Just one.  But a hug's a hug, right?  He even drew me a picture a few weeks ago.  The older boys, though, express themselves through their actions.  I mean, seriously.  You really think an 11-year old and a 13-year old are going to tell their manny that they love him?  You must be crazy.
The 13-year old loves talking with me.  Usually about global warming.  He's convinced that's how it's all going to end.  We joke around, poke fun at each other.  You have to understand that for about eight months, this young man wanted nothing to do with me.  He would avoid me like the plague, only talking to me when necessary.  So this is huge for me that he is enjoying my company.  He invited me to watch him play games on his computer once.  It wasn't much fun for me, but it showed him that I care and want to support him.
The 11-year old has a very strange way of showing his affection.  He has always been comfortable talking with me and being around me.  So it took me a while to realize that he liked having me around, that I wasn't just another babysitter.  I found this out two weeks ago.
The 11-year old has a lot of energy, especially in the mornings.  One morning, he decided to jump onto my back.  So I took him around the living room on my back for a little, then I sat on the couch.  On top of him.  Now, most kids giggle and let go.  This kid giggled and held on tighter.  Every time I tried to stand up, he pulled me back down.  So, we sat like that, just watching TV.  He put his head on my shoulder so he could see the show better.  It was awkward, but heart warming at the same time.
For the umpteenth time, I love my job.  I love the boys and getting to work with them.  I love seeing them grow and develop.  And I love being a part of their lives.

Goals for 2018

The year 2017 was pretty good to me.  But it could have been better.  I could have saved more money.  I could have eaten healthier.  I could have done more to further my education.  But overall, I am satisfied with how I spent this last year.  For 2018, I'm setting up goals for myself.  Simple goals that will help me out in the long run.
My first goal is to continue my education.  I am currently taking an online religion course.  I am also signed up for math class at the community college that starts in January.  I am currently working on applying to Brigham Young University Idaho.  I just need an interview and to write one more essay.  I have found that, now that I know for certain what I want to do with the rest of my life (middle school guidance counseling), my level of self-efficacy and determination has increased.  I am more willing to push myself academically.
My next goal is to live healthier.  I have a kind of bipolar appetite.  Sometimes all I think about is food.  Other times, I don't want to eat.  Sometimes all I eat is junk.  Other times, I crave vegetables and protein.  I need to learn to balance my food choices.
In 2017, I did an awesome job of saving money.  Until my car had to go to the shop.  Four times in 2017, twice in the past three months.  Fortunately, I had enough money for the repairs and a rental.  But now, I am stressing out.  If only I had saved more.  As well as I did saving money, I still went out and spent more than I should have.  I have become addicted to wearing shorts.  I bought three pairs of shorts this year, and even more t-shirts to go along the the shorts.  I spend a lot of money on books.  And, because I drive at least six days a week, I end up filling up my gas tank twice a week.  So in 2018, my goal is to only spend money on necessities.  I need to save more than I spend.
These are all realistic goals that don't take a lot of work.  I just need determination and focus.  I want to make 2018 the best year of my life so far.