Mannying: Five Years Later

It's hard to believe, but early next week marks five years of mannying.  I have grown so much since I first started in 2016.  I have learned a lot along the way.  The most important thing I've learned is how strong the influence of a male role model can be.

One of my favorite things about mannying is starting with a family and seeing the confusion, excitement, and devious plotting on the children's faces.  Confusion because the kids have never had a male sitter before.  Excitement because of the new experience.  And devious plotting to see what they can get away with.  I have seen these looks on almost every child I've worked with.  I especially love working with boys and seeing their excitement.  I've had boys tell me that they've never had a boy sitter before and that they're so happy to finally one.  I had one kid tell me he wanted to be a manny when he grew up.  I had another kid tell me he was surprised at how fun and kind I am.  This was all part of why I wanted to be a manny.  I wanted so badly to break the mold of teenage/college aged females being the only child care providers to get recognition.

I think I shared before about my first full-time mannying interview.  The mother said I was perfect for the job, then went on to hire a young woman instead.  About six months later, I interviewed with this mother again.  She again told me how perfect I was for the job.  I went on to work with her three amazing boys for about four years.  It was annoying that she didn't hire me at first, but that's the norm for me.  It all worked out in the end, though.

I remember a few years back, a popular childcare website (which I happen to use) ran a commercial with a bunch of kids telling what they were grateful for about their sitters.  Each child began their sentence with the word "she".  "She does this", "She taught me that".  The commercial infuriated me, especially since I used that exact website to find jobs.  Fortunately, they changed their commercials around, so I can't complain anymore.

While working for my one family, I continued to apply to date night/weekend jobs.  For every fifteen jobs I would apply to, I would hear back from one, maybe two.  This all changed about four months ago.  With everyone going back to the office, my email exploded with parents begging me to watch their kids.  I guess it just takes desperation to ask a man to watch your kids.  In the past year, however, I have added two regular weekday families (one before school, one after), a weekend family, and two date night families.  While people are indeed desperate, I'm also finding that parents are more open to the idea of a manny.  I've gotten a couple of responses from mothers excited to have found someone to work with their sons.  It also helps that I worked really hard to create an impressive profile.  I definitely stand out against the female competition.  

My after school boys have told me multiple times that I am the best manny.  They also like to repeat my mantra "I'm not a nanny, I'm a manny".  We turned it into a joke.  They tell me I'm the worst nanny, which I then thank them for.  I then tell them they're the worst little girls, which they thank me for.

I absolutely love my job.  I look forward to going to work everyday.  I look forward to hearing the thrilled "He's here!" after I ring the doorbell of a home.  I look forward to the toothy smiles that greet me when I enter the home.  And I especially look forward to hanging out with boys who could use some positive attention from a male role model.  

Happy five year mannyversary to me and my families!  I'm so grateful for all of you!

I Am A Masculinist pt. 2

 

Hollywood has done an amazing job at creating strong, independent, female leading roles; Disney, in particular.  But looking back at the past ten or so years, I realized that there aren't many good male leading roles.  You have your stereotypical narcissists who are humbled throughout their adventure, your nerds who become superheroes, and your overbearing fathers who think they know what's best for their children.  I could only think of three movies that broke that mold.

The first movie I thought of was Ratatoullie.  The movie follows Remy, a rat who just wants to fulfill his dream of being a chef.  He has to break down many barriers to get where he wants to be.  He meets up with Alfredo Linguini, a clueless, but seemingly motivated chef wannabe.  Both characters are sensitive to each others' feelings.  Both characters are kind.  And both characters have a realistic goal for their lives.  They don't want to be race car drivers or superheroes; they just want to cook.  

I thought of the movie Coco next.  Miguel is a young boy who has a passion for music.  He also loves his family and only wants to help out.  Through some magical events, he is sent to the afterlife where he meets Hector, another music lover.  Miguel eventually comes to learn that Hector is his great grandfather.  I love this movie because, again, the main characters are kind and trying to reach reasonable goals.

The last movie I could think was Wreck-It Ralph.  Ralph is a big, strong villain who simply wants a chance to be the good guy.  Although he can be grumpy at times, we can see that Ralph has a huge heart.  He wants to be kind and helpful.

I want to see more movies like these three.  Teaching young girls to be strong and independent is important.  But teaching young boys to be kind and to be dreamers is equally as important.  I want to see more movies where the leading male doesn't have to go through a transformation.  He should start out as a good, kind character.  With theses types of examples, I'm sure the men of tomorrow will grow up to be more sensitive and empathetic.  It's in your hands now, Hollywood.

Someone to Look Up to

When I was a Cub Scout, many moons ago, I remember going into the gymnasium at the church to play basketball after Den Meeting.  My fellow Cub Scouts and I would play Knockout with the leaders.  And we always had a blast.  Until the Boy Scouts came in.  The older boys would get a hold of all the basketballs and start their own game, forcing us younger boys off the court.  This always made me so mad.  We were there first!  Needless to say, I didn't really like being around the Boy Scouts.  Or any other teenage boys, for that matter.  They weren't people that I felt like I could look up to.
Everyone needs a good role model in their life.  It can be a parent, a teacher or leader, a friend, or even a friend's parent.  Why only have one?  Have as many as you want!
In my life working as a manny, a respite care provider, a Sunday School teacher, and Big Brother, there are a lot of little eyes looking up at me, watching what I do.  Being a role model comes naturally to me  (I know, toot toot!  There goes Philip tooting his own horn again!).  I love being around children.  For me, they are much easier to get along with than most adults.  In all honesty, I think a lot of my role models are the children I have worked with.  While I do my best to set a good example to the kids around me, little do they know that I am learning from them.  Be yourself, be honest, don't care what other people think, love unconditionally.  A lot can be learned from children.
My goal in life has always been to change the world, even if it's just one person at a time.  I often feel like I am failing at this.  I'm not seeing the fruits of my labors.  But I get surprised sometimes.
A couple of examples.  One day in Cub Scouts (as a leader, now, not as a Scout), I had the boys write thank you letters to someone they look up to.  One of the boys wrote a letter for me.  Now, let me tell you, this boy is insane!  Insanely busy, active, hyper, and talkative.  I felt like I was getting nowhere with this boy.  So you can understand my surprise when this young boy handed me the letter, thanking me for all that I have done for him to make him a better person.  I was deeply touched.
The second example is the 5-year old I take care of.  I had to take a day off for CPR training and the little guy was very stressed out about being with the back-up sitter.  I didn't realize this at the time.  So the week before my day off, I was joking around with the 11-year old about how I had the day off and I was never coming back.  I heard a loud "WHAT?!" from the other room.  The 5-year old came running in with tears in his eyes.  I asked what the matter was.  "You said something mean!" he told me.  I  apologized and explained that I was just joking around with his older brother.  This seemingly insignificant event showed me that, even though he never said anything before, the 5-year old looked up to me.  He felt safe with me.  This is an important thing for a child to feel.  That they can trust someone.
Look around you.  Are you alone?  Are you with people your age?  Younger people?  How do you act around these people?  How should you act around these people?  Ask yourself these questions when you are with others.  Are you the kind of person who takes a basketball from a group of children?  Or are you someone to look up to?