I Can('t) Do Hard Things

I've always hated hearing people say "You can do hard things".  I have struggled with doing difficult things my whole life.  I moved home from Idaho in 2023 because life got too difficult.  I have quit jobs because they were too difficult. Most recently, the difficult thing I couldn't do was finish a semester of school.  School got difficult, my anxiety took over, and I dropped out of school four weeks before the end of the semester.  

I look back at where I was years ago, though, and see all of the difficult things I was able to do.  Moving out to Idaho in the first place, not once, but twice.  Attending three different colleges.  Stepping out of the food and retail industry and starting my career as a manny.  These were all difficult things.  Sure, I quit most of the things listed above (still going strong as a manny!), but it took a lot for me to try.  I'm not one to step out of my comfort zone, yet I've found myself leaving my zone on a regular basis.

I don't know if I'll ever finish college.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave Pennsylvania again.  But I do know that I need to keep an open mind to those options.  I can't do hard things, but I keep trying anyway.  Maybe someday it will all work out.