First Hand Account

As mentioned a few posts ago, I have been experiencing symptoms that I've had two doctors say may be coming from a mass growing on my pituitary gland.  Since then, I have been working on getting better health insurance.  I was already covered, so I wasn't rushing.  Until I got a bill for some blood work I had done in January.  It was almost $500!  And I had another bill coming for blood work I had done beginning of March.  I got on my computer right away and applied for Medicaid.  They needed a bunch of paperwork, which I got to them as quickly as I could.  I got an email about two weeks later saying that I was not eligible for Medicaid.  The email directed me to a website and phone number for Marketplace, where I could shop around for health insurance based on my income.  There were no other directions other than to go to the website or call the number.

I tried the website first, to find absolutely no directions on what needed to be done.  So I called the number.  The lady I talked to filled out a new application with me and told me she needed a couple more papers from me and the date of when my prior coverage ended.  I called the number again today and spoke with someone different.  I told him I had the date my coverage ended, which just so happened to be today (I didn't get a letter from them or anything!).  The man I was talking to told me he didn't need a date, just the paperwork.  I asked a couple questions, confused and frustrated, and he recommended doing the application again.  So that's what we did.  In a matter of a month, I've applied for insurance three times.

Based on my income, the man on the phone was able to set me up with Marketplace.  I am finally ready to choose my coverage.  The man on the phone made sure to tell me, though, that because of my low income, I wasn't eligible for a tax credit and I'd have to pay full price for coverage.  The plans range between $230 and $570 a month.  There were a few reasonable options, until I took a closer look.  For $230 a months, I would have full coverage, meaning I wouldn't pay a thing, after an $8,600 deductible.

I still haven't picked a plan.  I'm going to sit down with my parents and have them help me out.

I am absolutely disgusted at all the red tape I had to go through just to find out that because I don't make a lot of money, health coverage is extra expensive for me.  I honestly wouldn't mind paying $230 a month for coverage.  It's the ridiculous $8,600 deductible I don't understand!  I wouldn't worry so much if I didn't have an MRI coming up.  And, depending on what the MRI shows, I may need to have surgery as well.  I can't pay for any of this!

You better believe that I'll be writing an email to my local congressman, senator, or whoever about this issue.  It just doesn't make any sense!  Taking care of one's self should not be a decision between paying for medical bills or paying for food and shelter.  I am blessed to be living with my parents who are always willing to help out financially.  But I see their struggles, too, and I don't want to have to rely on them.  I want cheaper, if not free, health care/coverage.  I want to live a long, happy life.  I don't want that to be dependent on my income.  It's just not fair!

The Life of Philip, Chapter 2

On Tuesday, September 4, 2018, my mom and I set out on a cross country trek to Rexburg, Idaho.  Rexburg is the home of Brigham Young University Idaho campus, where I will be finishing up my Bachelor's degree in Psychology.  For the first time in twenty-seven years, I will be living somewhere other than my parents house.  This is a new beginning for me.
I have waited for this day for a long time.  I have felt that I have been ready to live independently for awhile.  All I needed was the proper motivation.  While attending the community college in Pennsylvania, I switched majors numerous times.  While working with the boys, I finally decided on majoring in Psychology with hopes to become a middle school guidance counselor.  I have never felt a hundred percent sure about a major until now.  Working as a Manny for the past two years helped me in this decision.
The most difficult part of moving was leaving my Manny job.  I have grown to love the boys as if they were my own.  Imagine having to leave your children so you can move on with your life.  It hurts a lot.  Saying goodbye was rough. 
I have been trying to focus on my future, though.  Just two and a half more years before I get my Bachelor's degree, then on to my Master's.  I've got a lot of schooling ahead of me, but it will all be worth it in the end.  I'm looking forward to continuing my education.
Being on the opposite side of the country from my parents will be different, but I'll have my younger brother and some friends near by.  And I'm excited to meet new people and make friends.
Although I'm not entirely emotionally ready to leave, I know that I am mentally ready.  I have been trying to become more independent in the past couple years and feel that I am ready to live on my own.  As I meet new people and work new jobs, I will become more comfortable being away from those I love most.  The future is bright.  I'm ready to bask in what is to come.

Life Happens

My life has been going along nice and smooth.  I love my jobs, I have money in the bank, I have a warm house to live in.  I was starting to think that nothing bad could ever happen again.
Then I was humbled.
On Black Friday, my dad and my brother-in-law cut down a tree.  It hit some electrical wires and blew out the kitchen lights, oven, microwave, and refrigerator.
My health has slowly been going downhill.  I am currently taking a leave of absence from one of my jobs, waiting for the doctor to mail me a heart monitor.
My mom's car got totaled after being hit by a love drunk buck.
In the past three months, my car has been in the shop for a total of two weeks.
And then this morning, after getting my car back from the shop, its battery died.
But I haven't been brought down.  I'm still loving my jobs.  I still have money in the bank, though not as much.  And the heater wasn't affected by the fallen tree.  I honestly have nothing to complain about.
Throughout all these insane experiences, I've been thinking a lot about life.  Forrest Gump says that life is like a box of chocolate.  I say that life is like walking around a suburban neighborhood.  You're taking a leisurely stroll passing all the cookie cutter houses.  Cars stop to let you cross the street.  But then, without warning, you end up in a cul-de-sac.  And what do you do in a cul-de-sac?  You turn around and continue on.
For the past year or so, I have been taking a leisurely stroll through Suburbia, enjoying the gardens and clean streets.  Recently, I hit a dead end.  It took me some time to turn around, but I eventually did.  I turned around and continued living with a positive attitude.  I returned to the freshly manicured lawns and fancy cars, leaving the cul-de-sac behind.

A Lesson in Literature

I love getting lost in a good book.  Entering new worlds.  Going on epic adventures.  Feeling like I am someone else (got to love books written in the first person!).  Out of the dozens of books I have read in my 26 years on Earth, few have stayed with me.  I easily forget plot and characters.  But there are two books that will stay with me forever.  I could read them over and over again.  These books are Milkweed by Jerry Spinelli and The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer.  Both books are aimed for a younger audience, middle school to early high school.
Milkweed follows a young boy in WWII Poland.  He finds himself in the Warsaw Ghetto, not knowing what is going on.  His innocent view of the world around him leaves the reader with an optimistic viewpoint of life.
The House of the Scorpion, which I am currently re-reading, is about a boy, Matteo, who finds out he is the clone of a wealthy drug lord.  An intense series of events eventually shows the reason behind Matteo's being 'born'.
The thing about these two books that really stand out to me is the childlike innocence of the main characters.  Horrible things are happening in the lives of these boys, but they somehow manage to find and hold on to the good things in life.
As an adult, I know I really struggle with seeing the good in the world.  Watching the news is terrifying!  Through reading books such as Milkweed and The House of the Scorpion, I am able to alter my perspective on things which, honestly, is much needed nowadays.   

Who Am I?

When I think about all the things I do with my life, I make myself sound like the perfect individual who always keeps himself busy.  I have an awesome part-time job.  I'm taking an online class.  I am a Cub Scout leader.  I teach Primary (children's Sunday School).  I keep up with a weekly blog.  I make it seem as though I have my life under control.  This couldn't be farther from the truth.
At (nearly) 26-years old, I am pretty sure I have already gone through a mid-life crisis...multiple times.  I am now on my fourth Major change at school.  I often find myself wondering if I should just give up on school.  Is it really worth the money and stress?  I often think about quitting Cub Scouts.  What do the boys have to learn from me anyway?
Growing up, I was a quitter.  I quit sports.  I quit projects.  I had very low self efficacy.  As an adult, I see how that has affected my life.  It has always been easier for me to quit than to follow through.  When things get difficult, what is the point of going on?  Now I see that quitting is rarely the answer.  How am I to progress in life if I keep giving up?
I recently switched my Major from English Education to Physical/Occupational Therapy.  A lot of science classes are required.  After math, science is my least favorite subject.  But I got a B last semester in Biology.  I honestly didn't think that was possible.  Because of that B, my whole view on how to live my life has changed.  I never really thought that I could be whatever I wanted to be.  Now I know that anything is possible.  Through hard work and determination, I can reach my goals.  Now let's just hope this is the last time I change my Major.
As for the Cub Scouts, it's easy to lose patience when the boys don't listen and are jumping over the chairs and tables.  Let's play tag instead of listen to Philip!  That's my normal Wednesday night.  I gave up on the boys for a while.  Sure, I still went on Wednesdays.  I still attempted to teach them.  But it never seemed to work out for me.  But after being hired as a manny, I have learned how to better react to the boys, how to better teach them.  I am still struggling, but I finally have the boys participating.
The point I'm trying to make is to not judge others based on what you see or hear.  I try to hide the struggles in my life.  I want people to think that I am strong, that I truly am able to do all the things I do.  But maybe it's time to ask for help.  I shouldn't let life get me down when there are so many people around me willing to lift me up.
Who am I?  I'm Philip, manny, student, Cub Scout leader, blogger and future Physical/Occupational Therapist.  I am who I want to be.  A young man with flaws and much to learn.