Role Swap!

 

Imagine:  A 27-year old man acting like a 12-year old boy.  And a 12-year old boy acting like a 27-year old man.  That is exactly what happened last Thursday.

I have been attempting to drill the Golden Rule into the 12-year old's brain.  I eventually thought that the best way to do this would be to swap roles.  I warned him a few days in advance so he wasn't surprised.  He knew what day we would be swapping roles, but not what time of day.  So last Thursday, around noon, I made the boys some lunch.  When the 12-year was finished eating, I handed him a list:

Ask me what I want for lunch

Make me lunch

Clean up dog pee in kitchen (Don't worry!  It's just water!)

Make sure I turn off my Kindle

Make sure I eat everything

Put my plate in the dishwasher, then we're done!

I didn't plan it this way, but the 12-year old insisted I call him Philip.  He called me by his name, which will be 'J' for this post.  

First thing on the list.  Ask me what I want for lunch.  I just sat on the couch, playing Subway Surf on my Kindle, unresponsive.  He asked me a couple more times before I finally told him I wasn't hungry.

"You have to eat something!" he said.

"Ugh, fine!  Just make me a PB and J."  I made sure to roll my eyes and everything.

He made me a sandwich, and brought it out to me.  

"Turn off the Kindle."  No response from me.

He asked again.  Still no response from me.  The third time he asked, I just said "Wait!"  (He knows how much I hate that word.)  But he waited until my game character died.  I put the Kindle on the side table and took the sandwich from his hands.

"I'm not hungry." I said.

"You need to eat." he said.  I took a bite out of the sandwich.  (He needs some practice making PB and Js.  Way too much PB, not nearly enough J.)

I eat half the sandwich.  "I'm done."

"Finish the sandwich, please."

I eventually finished the sandwich.  He takes my plate and puts it in the dishwasher.  We finished the roll swap.

Throughout this exchange, J also cleans up the 'dog pee' in the kitchen, stops his brothers from fighting, and stops me from yelling at his brothers and calling them names.

This is an average lunchtime for me.  Trying to get J off his device, figure out what he wants to eat, making sure he eats everything, all while cleaning up messes and keeping peace between the boys.  J got to experience just that.

I asked J how he felt about what we just did.  He admitted that it was a little difficult.  He said he knew he'd have trouble getting me off the Kindle and that I'd be unresponsive, two things he regularly struggles with himself.  He said that the most difficult part was staying patient.  J knows that I am a very patient person, and he was trying to play the part perfectly.  He did an awesome job!  Instead of yelling at his brothers, he gently grabbed and shook their heads to get their attention, calmly telling them to settle down.  He even shook my head at one point.  That's something I do all the time to get the boys' attention.  J stayed calm throughout the entire scenario.  He made me super proud.

The next thing for me to do is to make sure J understands that he can stay calm.  He doesn't have to be pretending to be me.  I witnessed him calmly settle his brothers down, even his older brother.  I'm hoping that this activity was beneficial for J.  He had amazing feedback, so I know he learned something.  He also told me not to post about this on Facebook.  He didn't say anything about my blog!  Or sharing it to Facebook!  Sorry kiddo!

The Golden Rule

A lot of children don't understand the Golden Rule.  I didn't when I was a kid.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  Well, my big brother just pushed me, so he must want to be pushed back.  Obviously.  It's easy for kids to forget themselves.  They worry too much about how other people treat them.  They don't think about how they should treat others.  What's fair is fair.  He pushed me, so he deserves to be pushed back.
The librarian at the elementary school I attended used the Golden Rule all the time, but in different words.  She always told us that she would show us respect if we showed her respect in return.  This seemed to click in my young mind, and it's stuck with me ever since.  If I want to be respected, I should be respectful.  And that is how I try to live my life.
I don't know why, but it really bothers me when, while I'm driving, I let someone in front of me, and they don't wave a thank you.  How rude!  Until I realized that I rarely wave a thank you.  I've gotten much better since this realization.  I probably confuse some people.  Why is this weirdo waving at me?  I don't know him!  This is the Golden Rule in action.  If I expect people to act a certain way towards me, shouldn't I act the same way towards them?
I have been told multiple times throughout my life that I am too nice.  I also get complimented on my patience a lot.  (And my humility.)  Kindness and patience come easily when you put yourself in someone else's shoes.  I know it's hard, but the first thing to remember is that the world does not revolve around me.  Other people have their own lives too.  Other people have feelings that need to be taken into consideration.  By realizing this, it becomes so much simpler to be kind.  People act certain ways depending on what is going on in their lives.  And because I can't read minds, I decide to just treat everyone the way I want to be treated.  With love and kindness.