Thursday, May 29, 2025

Bipolar Disorder: A Short Story


Wet Season
Dry Season

Mab woke up every morning, stretched his arms and legs, and let out a great howl of joy.  He'd made it

Mab woke up every morning, stretched his arms and legs, and lay back down for more sleep.  He wasn't

through another night, waking with the energy of many men.  Today was another day to live his best life. 
 
ready to face another day.  He had no energy and no desire to get started with his day.  Today was just
 
He stepped outside of his cave and let out another howl of joy.  The waters were falling from the sky,
 
another dry day of unsettling sunlight and heat.  After a few more hours of rest, Mab decided it was 

cooling the land and bringing life to the mountainside.  Mab grabbed his spear and went off for a morning
 
time to gather some fruit for breakfast.  Groaning with displeasure, Mab made his way out of the cave

hunt.  While searching for something good to eat, Mab noticed all of the beauty around him; the leaves 

towards the forest.  He headed straight for this favorite fruit tree.  Once at the tree, he sat down in its

dripping with water, the grass blowing in the wind, the dark clouds covering the sky.  Yes, today was
 
shade to take a rest.  He was still very tired.  After a quick nap, Mab collected his pile of stones and 

going to be a good day.  Mab headed for the forest, sure that he'd find some prey hiding from the falling
 
expertly threw the stones at the fruit.  As the fruit was falling from the tree, a beautiful bird came into
 
waters.  He eventually found a small herd of antelope.  Feeling confident, Mab set his sights on the largest 

view.  Annoyed at the interruption, Mab threw a stone at the magnificent bird.  His aim was true.  He'd

antelope, a female.  Gripping his spear tightly, Mab ran into the herd at full speed.  As the antelope scattered,
 
have some meat tonight.  Gathering the bird and the fruit, Mab made his way back to the cave.  In no

Mab was grazed by antlers and hooves, but he didn't notice the pain.  His focus was on the giant antelope at the

hurry, Mab dragged his feet in the dusty, dry ground.  He heard a rustle behind him.  He turned back to

end of his spear.  She put up a fight, but Mab came out victorious.  Dripping blood and sweat, Mab 

see a pair of large cats, licking their lips and growling hungrily.  Mab stopped and stood in fear.  He 

prepared to drag his prey back to his cave.  Still feeling confident and energetic, Mab was unaware of the
 
dropped his load of fruit and meat and ran towards his cave.  The large cats pounced on the bird,

pain from his injuries, unaware of the weight of the carcass he toted behind him.  Pushing through the 

ravenously tearing at the meat.  Mab looked back in dismay, mourning the loss of a hearty supper.

howling wind and drenching waters, Mab could see his cave up ahead.  But he also saw a pack of wolves,
 
After having devoured the dead bird, the large cats turned and headed back into the forest.  Mab had

looking for food of their own.  His energy rising again, Mab dropped his load and prepared his spear.  He
 
fallen asleep, drained of all his energy.  Once awake, he headed out of the cave to collect the fruit he

rushed the wolves, trying to catch them off guard.  He dropped one wolf as the others realized what was
 
had dropped.  Some fruits were still good, but most had been crushed by the large cats.  Mab ate one of

happening.  They circled around Mab, growling, fur raised.  The leader of the pack leapt at Mab.  Mab
 
the fruits and stored the rest for later.  He wasn't very hungry at the moment.  Having nothing else to

rolled out of the way, spear raised in defense.  Having dropped another wolf, Mab's confidence once more
 
do, Mab found a comfortable spot near the entrance of the cave.  He watched the day roll by, the sun

took over.  He swung his spear about, taking down wolf after wolf.  He was clawed in the back, bitten on
 
rising to the center of the sky, then dropping in the west.  The herds grazing in the sparse, dry grass.

the leg, but still he fought, until all the wolves were taken down.  Gasping for breath, Mab let out a loud,
 
Today was difficult.  Mab was exhausted, despite all the rest he'd taken today.  Hopefully tomorrow

booming laugh followed by yet another howl of joy.  Feeling invincible, Mab grabbed his prized antelope,
 
would be a better day.  Mab lay down for the night and fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of fruit and

plus a wolf, and made his way back to his cave. 
 
large cats.
 

Thursday, May 22, 2025

I Can('t) Do Hard Things


I've always hated hearing people say "You can do hard things".  I have struggled with doing difficult things my whole life.  I moved home from Idaho in 2023 because life got too difficult.  I have quit jobs because they were too difficult. Most recently, the difficult thing I couldn't do was finish a semester of school.  School got difficult, my anxiety took over, and I dropped out of school four weeks before the end of the semester.  

I look back at where I was years ago, though, and see all of the difficult things I was able to do.  Moving out to Idaho in the first place, not once, but twice.  Attending three different colleges.  Stepping out of the food and retail industry and starting my career as a manny.  These were all difficult things.  Sure, I quit most of the things listed above (still going strong as a manny!), but it took a lot for me to try.  I'm not one to step out of my comfort zone, yet I've found myself leaving my zone on a regular basis.

I don't know if I'll ever finish college.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave Pennsylvania again.  But I do know that I need to keep an open mind to those options.  I can't do hard things, but I keep trying anyway.  Maybe someday it will all work out.