Operation: Childspeak pt. 3

For the past ten summers, I have volunteered as a Den Leader at the local Cub Scout Day camp.  For one week every Summer, I am assigned to work with 5-10 boys between the ages of six and ten.  There have been a couple years where at least one of the boys in my den was a little difficult.  But I'll never forget one year when I was assigned a ten year old who had a lot of energy, a lot to say, and a nose for trouble.  We will call him Timmy.
I had seen Timmy previous Summers, but I had never had him in my den before.  So when I saw his name on my list, I thought Oh great!  Everyone knew Timmy.  That child was all over the place!  Other leaders warned me to keep an eye on him.
When the time came to finally meet Timmy, we hit it off right away.  His energy was contagious.  He loved to talk and I loved to listen, so it worked out.  But I noticed that, when around me, Timmy didn't seem to get into a lot of trouble.  But around other adults, Timmy would act up and cause chaos.  I wondered why this was.  Until I heard another leader say "That's the Timmy I know!  Some things never change."   This was said for Timmy to hear.
So I paid closer attention to Timmy and the other leaders.  The other leaders, while still being friendly, treated Timmy like a misbehaving child.  I (hopefully successfully) treated Timmy like I treated the rest of the boys in our den.  I treated him like a child who is still figuring out life.  I treated him like he was a good child.
I'm sure we can all think of a child we know who always seems to cause problems.  Now think about how you act around said child.  Do you react?  Or do you ignore them?  If you do react, how do you do so?  "Some things never change"?  What if I told you that things could change?
At day camp, I make sure to show the boys I am working with a lot of respect.  In most cases, if you show someone respect, they will respect you in return.  This was the case with Timmy.  I knew he was a wild child.  But I didn't treat him any differently than I treated the other boys.
At one station, the leader warned Timmy not to "try anything".  This is an assumption.  When you assume what a child is going to do, they see that as a challenge.  The leader told me not to try anything.  Let's see what I can get away with while she has her back turned.  And just like that, chaos and disobedience ensue.  Had the leader told the entire group to not try anything, there would probably not have been any problems.  By singling out a child, you are telling them that they have all the attention.  Most children crave attention, so they will act out to continue receiving attention.  This was true in Timmy's case.
Children know when they are misbehaving.  They know they are being "bad".  By assuming a child's actions, especially when they are negative actions, you are telling the child that you think they are bad.  A simple phrase such as "Don't even think about it" can do harm to a child.  The best way to fix this is to assume that your child will do the right thing.  "I know I can trust you to get this done while I'm gone".  "You did so well last time, I know you'll do well this time too".  Lift up your children.  Praise them.  (But don't let them get a big head.)  Let your child know that you think they are good kids.  Timmy truly was a good kid.  I think I was able to see that because I treated him like a good kid.
When dealing with children, it is important to have patience and to show love.  A good way to show love is by assuming the best.  Take your wild child, love them, and help them grow into a better version of themselves.  Parents have a lot of power.  Let's not see it misused.