Over Thinking Thursdays
Thursday, December 12, 2024
The Manny Diaries pt. 7: Coworkers
Thursday, September 21, 2023
Mannying Defined pt. 2: Values
I have always loved working with kids. What better way to earn money than simply playing with kids all day? I wish I could say that all I do is play, but when it comes to helping children develop into amazing people, more is needed than just fun and games. Children need to be taught to respect everyone around them. They need to learn to love learning. And, yes, they do need to have fun.
Respect
If you've ever seen Kids Say the Darndest Things, you know that children can be brutally blunt and honest. The younger ones especially are not afraid to give their opinions on things. It can be confusing for a child when they get scolded for speaking a thought out loud. What we as adults see as disrespect is usually just a kid trying to grasp something they don't understand.
I think I've used this example before, but one kid I was working with (we'll call him A) during the 2020 shutdown was doing his third grade class completely online via Zoom. I would sit with him and help him with his work. I became fairly familiar with his classmates. There was one boy in particular who clearly had a learning disability. For some reason, his actions made A angry and uncomfortable. After an outburst from A one day, I explained to him why this boy acted the way he did. I explained that things looked different from this boy's point of view, so his reactions were different than most peoples'. I saw the lightbulb go off in A's eyes. He smiled at me and said, "He just needs friends!"
In this situation, A was getting really fired up and got quite rude. Fortunately, he was on mute, so I was the only one to hear the outburst. Instead of getting mad at him, though, I calmly explained what was going on with the other boy. Once everything clicked, A was able to see how he should act around this boy. He was taught to respect someone who acted differently.
Education
Over this past summer, my favorite part of everyday was reading with the boys. Sometimes I would read to them, sometimes they would read to me, and sometimes we would each read on our own. After reading, the boys would work on Prodigy, an online math game a lot of elementary schools use. During this time each day, the boys and I were given the opportunity to relax and unwind from physical activity. Sure, the boys tended to run around while I would read to them; but when asked comprehensive questions, the boys were almost always able to recall events from the stories I would read. Prodigy gave me the opportunity to work one-on-one, or I guess one-on-two, to help the boys figure out the math problems they were given.
Outside of that time of day, the boys tended to be very inquisitive. We were on Google a lot, and asking Alexa questions occasionally. We learned about belugas, and Michael Jordan, and outer space. Being asked dozens of questions a day can be overwhelming, but I feel it is important to answer the questions. Or, in most cases for us, find the answers to the questions. You never stop learning, so don't try to stop. And when a teachable moment arises, run with it.
Fun
Who doesn't love to have fun? And what better way to show a child you care about them than having a good time with them? Simply playing with a child can make a huge difference in their life.
I have had parents tell me how impressed they are about how involved I am with their kids. Honestly, that's why I took the job in the first place! I'm not the kind of sitter to just sit and watch, unless directed by the child. That gets really boring really fast. I'm going to sit down on the floor, criss-cross apple sauce, and play with Legos, or Pokemon cards, or dolls. Whatever the kids are interested in become my new interests. I've found that this is the easiest and most fun way to connect with children.
While having fun, it is important to also listen. Children are more likely to open up while they are having fun. I worked with a kid who opened up while playing with a certain stuffed animal. He would talk through the stuffed animal, and there was just pure joy emanating from him.
But, believe it or not, having fun can be exhausting. Independent play can be an important thing for kids to learn. When I get tired or am hurting from sitting on the floor, I simply tell the kids that I need a break. Depending on the kid, they will either take a break with me, or continue to play on their own. And, as far as I can remember, no feelings have ever been hurt by me saying I need a break.
Being a manny truly is the best job ever. Like any other job, it has its challenges. But overall, the joy I feel from working with kids is like no other joy I've ever felt. I can only hope that I am making a positive, lasting impact on the lives of the children I work and have worked with, because they are leaving an impact on me. I just want to return the favor.
Thursday, June 1, 2023
Middle Schooled
Thursday, May 18, 2023
Depression: A Short Story
Thursday, May 11, 2023
Backwards Anxiety
After moving back to Idaho, being unemployed for a month, and digging myself into a hole of financial burden, my anxiety decided to take over. It didn't help that I had just cut one of my medicine dosages in half. But me being me, I didn't want to go back to the full dosage. In fact, after three months and with permission from my doctor, I took two steps backwards and went off that medication completely.
The two or three weeks after discontinuing that prescription were miserable. I was always trembling, constantly on the verge of tears, and extremely sensitive to everything around me. I hoped and prayed that all this would go away once my body was done going through withdrawals.
Miracle of miracles, it almost all went away (except for the occasional trembling). The confidence I had while I was in Pennsylvania returned. Aside from the medication, nothing in my life has changed. All the stressors are still there, but I am now able to manage them. I have become comfortable asking for help. I am almost always in a better mood at work. I'm feeling happy again, for the most part. I just had to take a step back.
My life is nowhere near where I want it to be. The anxiety is still there, especially in regards to what life has in store for me. I'm confused about my future, about what my next steps are. I now understand, though, that it is okay to take a couple steps back. Those backwards steps might just lead me to the greatest next step imaginable.
*Note: Although being taken off of a medication worked for me, it may not work for everyone. I was on that medication for 17 years. It worked really well for many of those years, but as time went on, I'm guessing that my body built up a resistance to it. Please talk to your doctor before discontinuing your medication.
Thursday, March 16, 2023
On the Struggle Bus
Wednesday, December 14, 2022
On Being Genuine
Sunday, November 27, 2022
Putting Myself Out There
Thursday, December 2, 2021
Mannying: Five Years Later
It's hard to believe, but early next week marks five years of mannying. I have grown so much since I first started in 2016. I have learned a lot along the way. The most important thing I've learned is how strong the influence of a male role model can be.
One of my favorite things about mannying is starting with a family and seeing the confusion, excitement, and devious plotting on the children's faces. Confusion because the kids have never had a male sitter before. Excitement because of the new experience. And devious plotting to see what they can get away with. I have seen these looks on almost every child I've worked with. I especially love working with boys and seeing their excitement. I've had boys tell me that they've never had a boy sitter before and that they're so happy to finally one. I had one kid tell me he wanted to be a manny when he grew up. I had another kid tell me he was surprised at how fun and kind I am. This was all part of why I wanted to be a manny. I wanted so badly to break the mold of teenage/college aged females being the only child care providers to get recognition.
I think I shared before about my first full-time mannying interview. The mother said I was perfect for the job, then went on to hire a young woman instead. About six months later, I interviewed with this mother again. She again told me how perfect I was for the job. I went on to work with her three amazing boys for about four years. It was annoying that she didn't hire me at first, but that's the norm for me. It all worked out in the end, though.
I remember a few years back, a popular childcare website (which I happen to use) ran a commercial with a bunch of kids telling what they were grateful for about their sitters. Each child began their sentence with the word "she". "She does this", "She taught me that". The commercial infuriated me, especially since I used that exact website to find jobs. Fortunately, they changed their commercials around, so I can't complain anymore.
While working for my one family, I continued to apply to date night/weekend jobs. For every fifteen jobs I would apply to, I would hear back from one, maybe two. This all changed about four months ago. With everyone going back to the office, my email exploded with parents begging me to watch their kids. I guess it just takes desperation to ask a man to watch your kids. In the past year, however, I have added two regular weekday families (one before school, one after), a weekend family, and two date night families. While people are indeed desperate, I'm also finding that parents are more open to the idea of a manny. I've gotten a couple of responses from mothers excited to have found someone to work with their sons. It also helps that I worked really hard to create an impressive profile. I definitely stand out against the female competition.
My after school boys have told me multiple times that I am the best manny. They also like to repeat my mantra "I'm not a nanny, I'm a manny". We turned it into a joke. They tell me I'm the worst nanny, which I then thank them for. I then tell them they're the worst little girls, which they thank me for.
I absolutely love my job. I look forward to going to work everyday. I look forward to hearing the thrilled "He's here!" after I ring the doorbell of a home. I look forward to the toothy smiles that greet me when I enter the home. And I especially look forward to hanging out with boys who could use some positive attention from a male role model.
Happy five year mannyversary to me and my families! I'm so grateful for all of you!
Thursday, November 4, 2021
I Am A Masculinist pt. 2
Thursday, September 30, 2021
iPhilip 30
Thursday, July 29, 2021
An Open Letter